listen to your heart

drei

"you're-?"

he nods.

"with me?"

he nods again, i breathe in deeply.

"all those times we were together in high school, and middle school.. you always had a thing for me?"

he holds my hand, looking down.

"it wasn't just a thing, laura. i've loved you since the day we first met in kindergarten for gods sake. you and i got along so well, and whenever a boy talked about you like you're a piece of meat? they never got to see the light of day. i gave you so many signs, and all you did was surpass them."

reading his lips, i fiddle with my fingers. i did see them, but i never thought much. there was one time i thought he had liked me, it was a split second, and just forgotten it.

"what about hailey? tell me you didn't love me when you were with her."

i raise my eyebrows waiting for his answer, he stayed silent, shocking me.

"what the fuck, ryan?! you played, hailey? lied to her?"

shoving his hand away, he looks at me confused. he says the next few words in sign language.

"i never played her, or lied. i never told her i loved her, laura. she and i had an open relationship, it wasn't serious at all. you were the only one in my life that held me down."

it was still fucked up that he was head over heels in love with me while being with another. whether it be an open relationship or not. i place my mothers watering can down, walking back inside my house. ryan keeps up after me, hot on my tail.

"ryan, i'm pretty damn pissed off right now, so stay the hell away from me."

he ignores my warning, instead he gets closer. i rush upstairs to my bedroom, flying past my concerned mother at me slamming the door. before i can close my bedroom door, he keeps his foot nudged in-between. i slam it on his foot again, crushing his toes, his face shows that he's wincing.

"jesus fuck, laura calm down!"

i growl under my breath, don't cry.

"why didn't you tell me, ryan? i would never have thought any less of you if you did, why weren't you honest with me? or at the very least to hailey?"

my bottom lip quivered while my tone dropped from dangerous to on the edge of bawling out. he sighs, running his fingers through his hair.

"laura, everyday i thought about confessing to you. i trusted you enough that you would take the news well, and maybe even start something. but i never found the time too with growing up, and you focusing on med school. it was hard enough that you couldn't hear me or anything really-"

"so you thought now would be the best time? when i've finally found someone i'm willing to start something with?"

i know i've just met shawn, but he hasn't held something back from me for 19 years. he looks frustrated.

"would you please just open your door?"

i keep it closed for a few seconds, hesitantly i open it. while he breathes a sigh of relief, he rubs his toes in pain. i take a seat on my bed,
staring at my desk filled with cluttered papers. college, medical school.. hearing.

"i got triggered alright? i never thought you would say that out of all the things you could have brought up."

he sits across from me, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. you're my best friend after all...

"you still should have told me,"

i mumble, he nods agreeing. i sigh in finality.

"i forgive you, just don't pull some stupid shit like that again. i gotta get ready for a date, you knucklehead."

nudging his shoulder, he laughs, pulling me into his lap. i fall over him, laughing, while he stares at me in love.

"just because i now know you have feelings for me, doesn't mean you get to make googly eyes."

i fake retch sitting up, and off him. he smiles anyways, shrugging. i walk into my closet pulling out my outfit i had chosen yesterday. ryan looks around my room, exploring the details of it like he always does. he can be such an airhead sometimes.

after washing my face, i take a seat in front of my vanity, preparing my face for a true beat down.

"tell me about this guy,"

i read ryan's lips, he has a face of curiosity and a hint of jealousy.

"you wanna know your competition?"

he raises his eyebrows, crossing his arms. i apply some under eye concealer, i need sleep good lord. he nods his head, you're not even competition kiddo.

"he's around 6 feet 2 i'm guessing, slim and built."

i smile down at my hands, he really is gorgeous.

"his handwriting is adorable, and a total eye catcher."

i can see that ryan's knuckles were going white in anger. giggling, i blend out my contour.

"relax, ryan. i'm sure he's not as funny as you."

he visibly relaxes, geez. laughing, he pretends to flip some of his imaginary hair behind his back.

"i know."

giving him a half smile through my mirror, i go back to finishing my eye makeup. looking down at my phone, shawn's name pops up.

7pm, i'll be waiting

i feel my cheeks heat up. spraying some makeup setting spray, and a few pieces of jewelry to finish off my look. now let me go put on my outfit..

"you look beautiful,"

ryan stares me down, while i carefully make my way downstairs. my hands are so sweaty, get a hold of yourself! i nod at him, while my chauffeur, cameron, is waiting besides a black mercedes. my mother, alyssa, comes running from the living room.

"oh honey, have fun!"

she says in sign language, i smile, hugging her. ryan stands besides us comfortably, while i walk to cameron. he opens the mercedes' door, i thank him, getting inside. for the first time in forever.