The first of many troubling thoughts

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Possible TW, self hatred/fat shaming
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I swear to you the one I love doesn't love me, I mean who would love a fat, ugly,  arrogant, jerk. She says she loves me but I sense her hesitance. I hope she loves me I love her so much I would be so crushed to find out she doesn't truly love me; I suppose that's just how life is, and yes I really do talk like this obnoxious and pretentious.

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