Meeting on Hamburger Street (America X Reader)

31: Walking The Long Road

•Alfred's POV•

"I'll go find him..." (y/n) muttered. I watched her as I ran, me eyeing her every move.

I need to tell her so many things.

I excuse myself from Eric and start running for (y/n). I passed a few doors and heard crying from the male's bathroom.

I saw (y/n) and Netherlands... She found out that he was suicidal...

Like me.

I didn't want to interfere so I just stood behind the door, listening to the conversation.

The words Mr. Netherlands said... They were so touching. No wonder (y/n) fell for him, I'm too cheesy. I'm a dork, too...

Then I jolted at something he said... Love him? Love someone else?

Could it be? No! T-That's impossible! She wouldn't like me back after all I've done, even with the fight today. Netherlands is a better path for her if she chose him. I'd be a burden.

There's no way that she could st-

"I'm so sorry, Abel... Just don't do this ever again... Promise me, please. And if I get back together with Alfred, please don't end your life just there. I know you could do so many beautiful changes to this world..."

WAIT WHAT?! Did I really just heard that. From her mouth? HER OWN WORDS?!

She still loves me...

I can't.

This is wrong! Our feelings... Our feelings are so mixed up! And most of all, Netherlands (Or as I heard from (y/n) that his human name is Abel?) is already hurting himself...

I've tried to end my life as a country before, but it didn't work. Abel could still feel those wounds, he needs (y/n) more than me.

I could feel my heart slowly shattering as I remember the good times I had with (y/n).

The time we first met on Hamburger Street, the library, when I asked her out, the aquarium and so much more. I miss those moments.

"Let go," I keep telling myself. "The future will decide, Jones." I whisper to myself.

I look back at the male's bathroom door, after a brief moment I left to the nearest drinking fountain of the building. I was to depressed to go back up to the studio to get bottled water.

I found one, and surprisingly the building was partially empty. Sunday? Yep, I guess that's the reason. But not the reason for me being so empty...

I drank a bit from the fountain and just rested there for a while. I turned it back on and filled water on my cupped hand and just let it slash on my face. Even my glasses got wet, and that's a worst case scenario.

I let it wet my hair and just relax myself, freshen me up a bit.

I still can't stop thinking about it. (Y/n), all this time... She still loves me. She has so many reasons to stay with Abel.

I should stop being a burden to her, I can't let her suffer like this anymore!

"Dammit!" I cursed and kicked the fountain. I squat down and place both of my hands in my face.

I started to sob heavily and just let myself all out. I cried out quite loudly, I didn't care though. It's ok.

I'm used to it.

When I was a kid, after Davie died, I ran away from home. I did the exact same thing I'm doing right now. I ran to the park, crouching down and crying just like now.

Those words I said before. They're all true.

Who said I wanted to be born like this? If I was brought into the world like this, then I wish I've never been born at all!

I meant those words as a kid. But Arthur told me something...

We might be born different as them, we can't follow their path, we can't do normal things like them as well. But, we can laugh like them. Cry like them. We can even love like them.

I asked my big brother to stay with me forever.

Promise?

Promise.

We both promised. But after I became independent, my depression happened again.

Why do the people I love leave me?

I doubted myself a lot.

Do they hate me?

I even started to insult myself.

You fat dork! They all left you! Can't you see?! You're a worthless piece of shit!

I don't want to be depressed again! It's not because I'm too weak, I'm too strong! I was too strong to keep the feelings in.

A few years later, Arthur had heard about this, and decided to live with me and Matthew, him as our father figure and Francis as our... Mother figure, apparently?

So I decided that I'm not loosing anymore people I love.

(Y/n), wait for me, it might take a while though. I'll be taking the long road.

To Be Continued...