Prophecies: The Grey

It Hurts

I wake up, and pull my body up off of my bed. For some reason I was breathing heavily. But I am not sure why. A bad dream, maybe? But if it was that, I can't remember a thing. Damon pops in my thoughts. Again. Why? Why is he always in my head? Does he have some magical spell that makes me think about him? 

For some reason, I think I feel like I still like him. But I know I don't I feel like I have old feelings. Because, even though he bit me and turned me into this, I can't help but feel my old feelings. I mean, can you really get completely over someone you loved just four days ago? Now I know I can't, because I think I still like him... but I don't want to. No! I just can't. 

My heart beats speeding up I took a deep breath and went to my closet. I need to get ready for another day of horrible school. I don't even want to go to school, because seeing him makes it harder on me and makes old feelings come back even more, which I don't want. Why did he have to follow me here? I didn't want to see him ever again. But my heart is telling me otherwise...

I grabbed a plain t-shirt that was baggy on me, but I don't care much for style. Who am I to impress? I have no boyfriend anymore. And I never want to be his girlfriend again. And I am sure no one will want to date me, a monster. A werewolf.  Then, I didn't even care to look at my choices of jeans. I just grabbed on pair that was clean. It was an old pair of jeans from two years ago. They have holes in it, but again, I don't care about my style. 

I went to the car and sat down. I waited for my mom to come in. So, while I wait I should do something to entertain myself. I opened the cabinet that is always in a car that is in front of the passenger seat. There was bills, and more bills. But then something caught my eye, something I didn't think I would find. Medicine. Drugs.  And it was my mother's proscription. I frowned and opened the bottle. There was only six left. So my mom must have taken the other 24 pills. But why does she need them? She doesn't do drugs. Well, I don't think. 

Suddenly, I caught a gaze of my mother coming out to the car. I quickly snapped the lid back on the bottle, put it back in the cabenit thing and shut it hard. My mom smiled while getting into the car. I smiled back to act innocent. Which I am. But she's not.

I couldn't really look at my mom knowing what she has been doing to herself. Drugs kill people! She should know that! She is the one telling me not to ever to drugs, maybe because she knows what it does to people and the effects it can have. 

I always thought she was a perfect mother. I guess I was wrong. A mother doing drugs... Not a very good role-model. And when I was little, I used to think that. That she was my role-model, when really, the whole time she has been lying and doing drugs and who knows what else she is doing. 

"Are you okay," she asked soothingly. 

I nodded my head and smiled so she didn't think anything was wrong. "I am okay," I told her, "I'm fine." I added. I turned my head to the right and gazed out the window, watching the trees pass as we drive. Everything is passing so fast, it's getting me dizzy and sick. I decide to turn my head back and stare at the road that lies in front of me. 

How could my mother be doing this to herself? How could she do this and know this is hurting her and know she can die by it. Anytime. I still love her and all, but I don't think I can watch her do that to herself. I mean, look at me, I am a werewolf and my mother is a drug user. Not the best family I could imagine. I used to think my family was always so together and loving, but really, we never were this happy family. I don't get along with my parents all that much and I always get in trouble. Because, sometimes I want to go to friends when my parents won't let me and sometimes I want to see my boyfriend and watch a movie with him, but again, parents holding me back. X-boyfriend.