Inside Out

Chapter 4

Monday. The worst of days as it was time to return to the shithole Dan called a school. He groaned as he rolled out of bed to slip on his clothes, deciding on a pair of black skinny jeans and this obscure sweatshirt with horns on the hood he'd bought off a Korean website. He just wouldn't put the hood up. Dan checked himself in the mirror before continue his daily morning routine. As soon as Dan arrived at the school however, he began to regret his choice in clothing as his anxiety was getting to him. "You shouldn't have worn that sweatshirt. It's so weird. Everyone's going to judge us. I bet Phil will hate it." Fear spoke.

"Please don't. I really don't wanna freak out." Dan replied, getting a few looks.

Dan hadn't seen Phil all day and thought maybe he'd gotten sick or something. That is, until he saw Phil in his desk in fifth hour talking to some other boy. This boy had dark black eyes and black, curly hair. Dan had to admit he is rather hot. Way hotter than Dan. He felt his heart sink down to the floor as he watched Phil laugh at whatever this guy was saying, a slight pink across his cheeks.

"He's replaced you." Sadness informed him. Dan felt tears brim in his eyes as he sat in his desk on the other side of Phil. Why did they have to have assigned seats? Phil didn't even notice Dan until the bell rang, signalling class has begun.

"Oh hey Dan! This is Ryan!" Phil introduced cheerily. Ryan shook Dan's hand giving him a hello. Dan just nodded, yanking his hand away and facing the front with his arms crossed. Dan couldn't help but feel anger towards Ryan. It's because of him that Phil wasn't paying much attention to him at all. Phil didn't even notice Dan's attitude towards Ryan. He just turned back to Ryan to talk some more. The teacher glared at them, causing Phil to stop talking a pay attention.

Lunch rolled around and all Phil had done all hour was gawk at Ryan. They were hitting it off well. Too well. Dan followed the two like a shadow on the way to the cafeteria. He didn't get food. He didn't feel like he could keep it down anyway. Seeing the two flirt with each other made him sick.

"Dan, aren't you gonna eat something?" Ryan asked. Phil looked at him a bit concerned as he knew how much Dan liked to eat. Dan just sent Ryan a glare before avoiding eye contact with either of them.

"I'm fine." He said bitterly.

"Hurt him." he heard anger tell him.
"What? No. I'm mad but I'm not gonna do something like that." Dan muttered. Ryan tilted his head. "What was that?"

"Oh nothing. Don't worry about it Ryan." Phil said. Dan sighed a breath of relief. At least Phil protected him.

"Come on Dan." He said, pulling him into the nearby bathrooms. Dan avoided eye contact.

"What's with you? Are they talking again?" He asked, finally focused on Dan. Dan only nodded in response.

"What are they saying?" Dan didn't want to say, so he kept his mouth shut, eyes glued to the floor and his fist clenched slightly. The anger in his head just kept telling him to hurt Ryan, Phil, someone. Dan could feel the rage boiling up inside him.

"Is this about Ryan?" He nodded again. Phil sighed.

"Dan-" He started.

"I'm sorry. I'm just bad with jealousy." Dan interjected him.

"You're still my friend Dan. Don't worry. It's not like I'm going to leave you." He moved to pull Dan into a hug but Dan pulled away, trying to keep his cool. To think this was all because of jealousy. All because Dan could feel himself falling in love with Phil and he was scared of getting hurt.

"Dan?"

"Look I have anger issues Phil! And I'm bad with jealousy and you've just spent all of your attention on Ryan! The voices? They're telling me to hurt him!" Phil seemed a bit timid.