Inside Out

Chapter 8

 When Phil woke up this morning he felt a sense of security and comfort, that is, until he realised he'd have to break up with Ryan today. Facing Ryan seemed like one of the worst things he could possibly do. How was he supposed to do that and result in the least amount of injuries as possible? His body ached, he hurt all over. Phil figured the bruises were probably even more evident now. He looked down at the boy in his arms, and that was enough to motivate him. Dan has already been through so much. Phil has too, but he'd never admit it. For now he decided to ignore his feeling of dread and focus on Dan. He looked worse than Phil remembered him being. Not that Dan was ever in good condition. He heard voices; of course he's not good. He's tried to kill himself. Phils seen the hundreds of lines scattered across the boy's wrists. How could he have been so selfish? Phil had been wrapped up in his own problems he never stopped to think about Dan. He knew how bad he was. He'd seen it; and then Ryan came along. Phil felt so bad. He pulled Dan closer, wanting to protect him from the world. Dans face contorted in pain before he opened his eyes. Phil loosened up a bit but now felt confused. Why did that hurt him? Then he remembered. A while ago back before everything happened Dan was at Phil's house. Phil accidentally walked in on his getting dressed and he was covered in bruises. But what was the reason? Phil could faintly remember it. Alex? Yeah, that's it. In the midst of his own pain he forgot Dan got hurt too. Every day.

"Phil?" He said, seeing worry and guilt in the boys eyes. Phil quickly tucked those thoughts away, distracting himself with those beautiful brown eyes instead.

"Morning." He smiled.

"It's everything okay?"

"Of course. "

"Bullshit."

Phil sighed, "I- I just-"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"thank you."

Dan sighed. "so breakfast?"

"but then we'd have to get out of bed!" Phil groaned.

"we're gonna have to anyway. I'm sure you're hungry." as if on cue, Phil heard his stomach grumble. He glared at it for betraying him before following Dan down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"knock yourself out." Dan said, jumping up onto the counter.

"You're not going to eat too?" Phil asked, watching Dan carefully. The boy was so skinny.

"Nah. I'm not a big breakfast person."

"Well, alright. Where are your bowls?"

Dan pointed to a cupboard to which Phil grabbed one and filled it with cereal. After he'd made his bowl he turned back to Dan who'd moved them into the living room to watch some anime. They got through about three episodes of attack on Titan before Dan decided to speak.

"So, what happened last night.....do you uhm.....are we Uh." fuck. He was not prepared he didn't even know what to say but he'd already started his sentence. If you can call it that.

"Do you want to be?"

"To be your....boyfriend?" Dan felt hesitant in saying such a thing, praying Phil wouldn't freak out. Phil just nodded.

"Yes!" Dan said just a tad too quickly. Phil smiled.

"Me too." Dan could feel a blush rise on his cheeks before it got replaced with a frown.

"What about Ryan?"

Phil felt another sense of dread swarm around his body. He didn't want to see Ryan but they never broke it off and phil wanted to cut ties.