dusk

PEREGRINATIONS

一 | sometimes, i felt envious towards winged creatures. the ones that had the ability to spread their wings and fly. they were free, able to feel the zephyr flitting softly through their soft feathers. able to look down from a higher ground. i wonder how it would feel.

二 | sometimes, i felt envious towards vivacious children. i walked past a daycare-just a few blocks from home - every day after school, and their laughter, oh their mellifluous laughter, chimed euphoniously, akin to bells on a sunday morning. the gregariousness in their youthful beings, i wanted to feel it again.

三 | sometimes, i felt envious towards the dying. i once had volunteered in a cancer institution and i listened to their stories. the sad, the bad, the good, the happy. memories were turned into words of the dying and tears of nostalgia and fear. one patient said to me, the one good thing about having grim reaper standing by your door is people tends to treat you a little better than usual. they are afraid that when people like us die, people like them will live the rest of their living nights remembering the regrets in their hearts. and it was all i ever wanted, but did not get.

四 | all of my miserable life, i have reached out for helpful hands and sapient minds. i prefer hand-written letters and smudged ink rather than technologies and pricey-than-life gadgets. passé minds, sometimes, could do greater things than people who strive for mainstreams, and it's a rare diamond among the dull gems. that was what my professor told me. but, what good is a diamond if it can't be used to save lives but rather to flaunt richness?

黄昏時