forbidden love ❥ lashton

fifteen ❥ i'm sorry

October 31, 1994

To Luke,

Hey Luke! How've you been doing? I haven't received any letters and I have many unsent. I'm worried your mom might read these letters before you do because you stated it in your last letter. I refrained from sending anything. Except for this, I'll actually send this.

With you, I'm alive. Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide. I want to know if you're okay or not. Also, it's Halloween! Did you dress up as Kurt Cobain, like you said you were going to? Or did you change your mind last minute again? Send print outs of what you were if you read this!

Okay, I'm going to stop covering up how I truly feel, it's obvious I'm not myself in my letter, so far. I'm really worried, Lucas. Where on earth have you gone? The last letter I received from you was last month, September 30. Yes, I keep track of our letters, because we usually sent mail exactly 7 days apart. A week apart. It's been 30 days.

I'm now very concerned and taking your last letter to the police station, you're missing is all I've gotten out of it, Luke. You could've written it in a much clearer way, I could've understood better. Writing like that isn't like you at all. Also, what does the second emphasized word mean? I won't talk much about it, just in case that it is Ms. Hemmings reading.

Without you, I feel broke. Like I'm half of a whole. Without you, I've got no hand to hold. Without you, I feel torn. Like a sail in a storm. Without you, I'm just a sad song. Dammit, I forced you into doing this. We shouldn't have snuck around, played around with society's rules. We should've stuck to what we were given, we would've been fine. Without each other, but fine. It's my fault, don't worry. Don't reply.

I'm sorry,
niwri