Vlogmas: a YouTube Christmas Special [YouTube]

Day 1

On the first day of Vlogmas, YouTube gave to me:

The Elvish Slave Trade is a Real Problem (Dan Howell and Phil Lester [danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil])

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"Look at this one!" Phil's sunny face pops out from behind possibly the fattest fir tree you've ever seen. The tassels of his bright blue stocking hat swing under his chin.

Dan snorts. "Oh my god, Phil, it's huge! Can you even imagine us trying to fit that on top of her SmartCar?"

Phil giggles at the thought. "It'd look like something from the Grinch Stole Christmas."

You walk away from Dan's side and put a hand on one prickly branch of the massive tree, giving it a shake. Needles shower down, speckling the toes of your sneakers. You scratch your chin and say appraisingly, "It looks..." You narrow your eyes, frowning. "...perfect!" Throwing your arms around Phil's neck from the side, you laugh and watch Dan's look of long-sufferance as Phil cheers in victory.

"Are you kidding?! We couldn't even fit it through your front door," Dan exclaims, gesticulating animatedly.

You release Phil and cross your arms with a pout, playing it up for all it's worth. "But it's the holidays," you insist, dragging the a.

Dan rolls his eyes, shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat. "Just because it's the holidays doesn't mean we can defy physics."

"Don't you have faith in Christmas miracles, Dan?" Phil says, still laughing a little.

Dan stands there between the rows of Christmas trees, hands buried deep in the pockets of his leather jacket, snow flurries melting in his hair, eyes narrowed as he looks back and forth from Phil to you to the tree. You take a mental snapshot of the way he looks in this moment, halfway smirking at the petulance of his friends, body drawn in from the nip in the air. At last, he relents.

"Fine," Dan sighs, rolling his eyes again as you and Phil whoop and high five. "But only because we still haven't found one for Phil and I. It's too cold to stand still."

After asking one of the salesmen to hold the tree for you, the three of you look for the smaller trees. Dan and Phil usually use a fake one but, surprisingly, it was Dan who said he really wanted a fresh one this year.

You walk between the two men, arms hooked around their elbows as you tromp excitedly through the flattened grass, craning your head to watch the sparse snowfall twist through the spotlights. Everything smells like Christmas and you couldn't be happier about it.

"So many trees," notes Phil in his Phil way. "How do they grow them so big in such a short time?"

"Elf slaves, probably," you reply, still staring up.

"Or they just keep raising the ones that don't get sold," Dan suggests drily. "But no, no, you're probably right. Elf slaves is definitely a more feasible answer."

Phil frowns. "Oh no! Those poor elves. Do you think Santa knows?"

"Santa's in on it." You tell him seriously. "It's a big controversy in the North. He keeps the best ones to make toys in his sweatshop and sells off the ones he doesn't have room for. They're not considered humans so they don't have human rights, but they're too close to the dwarfish bloodline to fall under the Protection of Magical Creatures Act, so elf-slaveholders can fly under the radar."

"Santa!" Phil gasps in horror.

Dan shrugs. "How do you think he affords to make all those toys? And food for the reindeer? Being Santa is expensive." He nods solemnly. "The elvish slave trade is a real problem."

Phil punches one fist into the opposite palm. "Let's join SPEW! Hermione had the right idea!"

*

'Tis the season for...

Vlogmas: A Christmassy YouTube Special

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A/N: So... this is a thing.

I don't know if I'll be able to keep this up, but it'll be easier if you all help me!! Tell me what you want to see, which YouTubers you want, etcetera throughout the whole shebang ^__^ all ideas are welcome! Gods know my verselings are the most creative people on the whole of Wattpad, I can't wait to hear your ideas.

Happy Christmas,
virtues