Vlogmas: a YouTube Christmas Special [YouTube]

Day 5

On the fifth day of Vlogmas, YouTube gave to me:

Ezra's Film Club (PJ Liguori [KickthePJ])

*****

"Damn," utters PJ, shaking his head. "That's like something out of a romantic comedy."

"I know, man," Ezra pipes up from his spot in front of the cooktop. "I wasn't even there and I felt the tension."

You roll your eyes and flick a bit of onion at Ez with the tip of your knife. "Oh, please, you perv. There is no tension between Chris and I. Badgers and snakes have more sexual tension between them than Chris and I do."

PJ chuckles. "That suave son of a bitch." He waves his knife at you. "He's gonna be cashing in that favour, you do realise that."

You avoid making eye contact with either of the boys as you make a neat pile of your chopped onion.

PJ stops chopping and looks at you suspiciously. "Wait a second." He laughs in disbelief. "He already has, hasn't he?"

"Shut up, PJ."

Ezra's laugh joins PJ's. "What's he got you doing? Cooking his dinner? Slaying dragons?"

"Paying the month's rent?" Peej chimes in.

You roll your eyes and bump Ezra's shoulder as you slide your onion off the chopping board and into his pan. They sizzle as they hit the hot metal. "Very funny, you two. For your information, he just wanted a night to hang out."

Ez and PJ lock gazes over your head and then erupt into laughter again. You emit a sound of mild annoyance and whirl away to put your little cutting board in the sink.

Ezra, still snickering slightly, does nothing to make amends. "I guess there's more sexual tension between badgers and snakes than you thought."

*****

The first Friday of every month your roommate Ezra has a film night that he jokingly calls 'Ezra's Film Club' to poke fun at PJ. The two have been friends since childhood; you'd known Peej from YouTube for ages, but you actually met him in person through Ez ("This is PJ. He's an idiot, but his extensive collection of Nintendo consoles means he's my best friend.") a few weeks after moving into the house. That sparked the close friendship you now share with both of them.

This month you're watching Christmas films (surprise, surprise) and the menu is, just like every month, ramen noodles. These aren't cheap ramen noodles from a packet, however. Ez prides himself on his amazing homemade ramen, so each month you and PJ transform into sous chefs and help him cook the only recipe in his repertoire. You both claim that you only do it to bolster his ego, but in all honesty, Ezra's ramen is pretty damn good. Ez makes dinner, PJ brings the films, and you buy a trifle that everyone pretends you made yourself.

The three of you file into Ezra's room, ramen bowls in hand. When film night first started, Heidi was having the meetings of her ill-fated book club in the lounge on the same day, and although the book club disbanded long since, it's become tradition to watch on Ezra's television. You and Ez take your regular positions on his bed and PJ kneels on the floor, spreading the three DVD cases out in front of him.

"So," he says. "I was thinking we could start out with White Christmas, go into Polar Express, and end it all on a Zooey Deschanel note with Elf."

"Ah, Elf. Doubtless some of the most poignant cinematography in the history of modern film," teases Ezra, shovelling ramen into his mouth with the chopsticks Heidi brought him from her cultural exchange trip to Japan last summer. He is extremely vain about those chopsticks, probably just because he can actually use them and Heidi fawns over him for it.