On the nineteenth day of Vlogmas, YouTube gave to me:
A Short While Ago in a Public Park Pretty Close By (Marcus Butler, Joe Sugg, Zoe Sugg, Alfie Deyes, Niomi Smart, Felix Kjellberg, Marzia Bisognin [MarcusButlerTV, ThatcherJoe, Zoella, PointlessBlog, NiomiSmart, PewDiePie, CutiePieMarzia])
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Ice slides down the back of your neck, shockingly cold against your skin. You gasp and whip around. "Alfie!" you screech. The dark-haired boy runs out of reach, cackling hysterically. Quickly, you scoop up a handful of snow and cram it into a ball. It arcs through the air and hits him square between the shoulders, exploding against his jacket in a spray of white powder. He yelps with laughter and stoops to grab more snow for a counter-attack, but you're already launching another snow ball at him. This one hits him in the shoulder. He sprints for you, snow dripping from his glove, and you run as fast as your feet will take you in your clunky Wellies.
"Joe!" you cry, laughing loudly and hiding behind his lean frame. He stops mid-sentence in his conversation with Marcus and Niomi and looks under his arm at you, confused. "I'm being assaulted!"
"Don't worry, mate! I've got you!" Joe shouts, joining in on the fight enthusiastically. Niomi shrieks as she gets caught in the crossfire between the two lads, which spurs Marcus to thrust his vlogging camera into her hands and start flinging snow to 'defend Niomi's honour'. Before long it's a full-blown war. Nims is the only one sitting out, holding the camera and cheering Marcus on from a safe distance.
Marzia, Felix, and Zoe, hearing the ruckus, come jogging up the path and laugh in amazement when they see the fight. "Wait!" Joe shouts. "This is perfect! We've got even teams now. Lads versus ladies!"
"Sexist," you pant, hooking an arm around his neck and practically hanging off him. "How about two-on-two-on-two-on-two? Capture the flag rules."
Alfie hastens to grab Zoe's hand. "Team Zalfie!"
"Come on, Nims," Marcus says encouragingly. "Team Narcus?"
"Team, what, what are we?" Felix mumbles. "M... Farzia...?" He laughs his dorky donkey bray laugh. "Team Farzia."
Joe elbows you in the ribs. "I guess that leaves us. The ultimate duo!"
"We're gonna crush you wimps!" you declare. "May the last team standing win!"
And so it began. Possibly the most epic snowball fight that London - no, Great Britain - no, the world has ever seen. The other civilians in the park probably think that you and your friends are barking mad. Immediately after starting the game, the four teams retreat to different parts of the large park to regroup and strategise. You and Joe are taking it way too seriously, but that's what makes it fun. You claim the big plastic play fort in the kid's area as your team's headquarters and even fashion a flag out of your scarf and a big stick Joe found in the forest. Joe makes some 'modifications' to the fort - an extra snow wall here, a secret hole for storing ammo there - while you get to work making snowballs for the stockpile. About an hour later, you have crafted so many snowballs that it's almost funny, and still no sign of the others.
"Hey, Joe," you call up to him from where you're crouched behind one of the thick snow walls. "Are they moving?" The tower over the slide is tall enough that if Joe stands on the very top of the roof, he can see Zalfie and Narcus's camps, but despite careful searching, neither of you have been able to spot Felix and Marzia anywhere.
He stretches up, balancing easily thanks to lots of roof thatching experience. You have to admit he looks quite epic holding the flag in one hand and shielding his eyes from the bright winter sun with the other. "Zalfie are still puttering around the pond, but it looks like Narcus is done with their sad excuse for a snow fort."
"Shall we execute Plan Delta?"
Joe nods and hops down from his perch to shake your hand with only the shadow of a grin playing about his features. "Good luck, soldier."
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You can see Alfie through the branches. He's holding a snowball in each hand and looking around like he expects someone to come screaming out of the bushes at any second. You test the weight of the snowball in your hand, holding in a giggle, and hesitate for just a second more before throwing it. It explodes against the tree trunk next to Alfie's head. He shouts a curse word and fires his snowballs in your general direction, missing your hiding spot entirely. Before he can make new ones, you pop up, blow a raspberry, and hit him in the back of the head with another snowball.
"You're not getting away this time!" he says. You just laugh and start running, zigzagging away from him. His yelling echoes through the copse of trees as he pursues you. Clumsily thrown snowballs whistle through the air near you, but you make sure not to get too far ahead of him. Have to keep him interested in the chase.
When the little spur of wood ends, you and Alfie pretty much tear right through the exact centre of Fort Narcus, which, needless to say, causes quite a disruption. Both Alfie and Narcus are caught completely by surprise, which gives you a few seconds to duck out of the way before snowballs start flying. You lob a few of your own into the fray, more or less just to egg the others on and give Joe enough time to steal Zalfie's flag while Zoe is protecting it alone, but you've also got your eyes peeled for the right opportunity to nick the Narcus flag. You're considering giving Niomi a noogie of slush to distract her so you can make yourself scarce with the coveted flag when Joe staggers out into the middle of the scene, causing the frenzy to grind to a halt. He's covered head to toe in snow, breathing hard and looking significantly worse for wear.
You raise on eyebrow. "Did Zoe do that?"
Still gasping for air, he shakes his head and points towards the wood. "They're... in the trees... Farzia." With that, he drops to his knees. Joe always has been a bit dramatic.
Slowly, you, Alfie, Marcus, and Niomi turn to look at the copse. Sure enough, Felix steps out wearing the Zalfie flag (Alfie's cap) and wielding two snowballs with a wicked grin. Marzia stands behind him, cute as ever, blinking at you all with her big doe eyes and packing a snowball innocently.
"You should probably surrender now," she suggests with a girlish giggle that is infinitely more terrifying than anything Felix could have done or said. Everyone promptly drops their snowballs and puts their hands in the air. There's a moment of silence, then laughter fills the air.
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Vlogmas: a YouTube Christmas Special [YouTube]
FanfictionIt's finally December, and you know what that means. 'Tis the season for jingle bells and cold spells. 'Tis the season for snowball fights and fairy lights. 'Tis the season for Christmas trees and holiday teas. 'Tis the season for cracker rippers an...