Vlogmas: a YouTube Christmas Special [YouTube]

Day 8

On the eighth day of Vlogmas, YouTube gave to me:

Deck the Vlogs with Phan and Zalfie, TROLLOLOLOLOL LOLOLOLOL (Zoe Sugg, Alfie Deyes, Dan Howell, Phil Lester, Louise Pentland, Jack Howard [Zoella, PointlessBlog, danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, SprinkleOfGlitter, JackHoward/OMFGitsJackandDean])

********

The sky is doing that thing where it just kind of spits, alternating every other drop of precipitation between snow, sleet, and rain, never really settling into one mode or the other. You've got the hood of your parka pulled up and you can see the moisture beading in the faux fur surrounding your face. It's kind of pretty with the lights reflecting in all the different droplets.

Up ahead, you can hear Phil talking. "Did you know that song was originally German? Yeah! I know the words, too!" He launches with gusto into a loud rendition of 'O Tannenbaum' that elicits gales of laughter from the others. You smile.

Jack speaks up quietly from your side. "Phil really loves Christmas carols, doesn't he?"

You laugh through your nose. "You're just grumpy because 'Consent' isn't on our song list."

"Who wouldn't be? It's a great tune with a good message." He shrugs, putting on a haughty face. "Instead we're stuck singing 'Baby It's Cold Outside', which is, like, exactly the opposite."

You shove him playfully. "We are not singing 'Baby It's Cold Outside'. I'd hardly call that a classic carol." Your mittened hands return to the pockets of your coat. "Besides, none of us is Zooey Deschanel, so there's no possible way we could do it justice. Might as well not even try."

Jack nods thoughtfully. "I agree with that sentiment."

********

"...and a Happy New Year!" your little makeshift chorus finishes. The elderly lady standing in the door claps, chortling gleefully, and even her codgery husband cracks a smile.

"Oh, you are all cute as buttons!" gushes the little woman, reaching out a frail hand to pluck at the sleeve of Dan's black Santa jumper. "All dressed up in your jumpers. Do fetch my purse for me, Jim, dear, so I can give these kids something."

The group hurries to protest, but Jim is already shuffling away, his house shoes scuffing on the lino, and the woman has a grip on poor Dan's arm. She starts to ramble in the sweetest way.

"I remember back when I was, oh, it must've been, what, my sixteenth year, Jim?" Jim doesn't bother to answer, or maybe doesn't hear. "The kids at the church all got together and went around singing carols and getting into good fun." She chuckles, looking in the direction of Zoe and Alfie, who are huddled close to one another, arm in arm. "Me and one of the boys, Harold Foster was his name, we found our way into all sorts of mischief." She pats Dan's arm and nods, looking wistful. "You all have a nice time, you know. These romps with your young friends, these are the times you're going to remember best when you're old and grey like Jim and I." Right on cue, Jim scuffs his way back onto the scene, purse in hand.

"You're not boring these kids with your stories again, are you Wanda?" he growls in his gravelly old man voice. Wanda just laughs and bats him on the arm, then goes back to digging through her purse. "This one's always aching for a chance to relive her wild days." Jim catches your eye and snaps you a jolly wink. You can't help but grin.

Finally Wanda finds what she's looking for. "Here!" From the depths of the tiny purse she produces a fistful of mini candy canes, which she carefully distributes among the lot of you. Then you part ways with a round of 'Happy Christmases'.

As the group walks away from Jim and Wanda's doorstep, you fall in step with Phil, who shows you his candy cane with a twinkle in his eye.

"Don't look now," he says, holding back laughter. "But mine says 'sugar free' on the packaging."

********

"Why do the elderly love me?!" Dan cries in despair. The group had retreated to a café to warm up with some toasty drinks and hot food before parting ways and going home for the night.

Louise pats his back sympathetically. "There, there, Dan. At least you know you always have a backup plan."

Jack joins her in a solemn nod. "Yeah, just find a rich cougar and marry for money."

Phil's hand shoots up, almost hitting you in the face. "I'm for that plan! What's yours is mine, right, Dan?"

Dan raises an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure that doesn't extend to sugar mamas, Phil."

"It could," you suggest, shooting a straw wrapper across the table at Alfie, who slaps at it and sticks his tongue out at you. "Phil shared his YouTube audience with you, it's only fair that you share your sugar mama profits with him."

A collective 'ooh' ripples around the table. "Shots fired," laughs Zoe.

"Are you gonna take that lying down?" Jack asks Dan, leaning over the table towards the latter.

Dan lifts his shoulders in a blasé shrug. "Eh," he sighs. "Probably."

"Dan!" Louise gasps.

"It's just so much effort to insult her, y'know? It's not even worth the energy." He waves his hand dismissively.

You sit back, stirring your water
with your straw. "Touché, Howell. Touché."

"So much banter at the table today," Alfie notes, taking a break from trying to toss sugar packets into Zoe's coffee cup. "You'd think Ben and Hazel were here, with all the bants going on."

"Speaking of which," you say. "I'm filming with Ben tomorrow for Becoming YouTube, so wish me luck."

Everyone at the table groans.

"I love Ben to death," Louise declares. "But his interviews always get me so flustered and tongue tied. Am I the only one?"

The rest pick up on comforting her and sharing their previous Becoming YouTube experiences. You track the conversation, but your mind is suddenly yanked back to Wanda's earlier ramblings. "These romps with your young friends, these are the times you're going to remember best when you're old and grey..." And sitting there in that café, you know you will remember this. The way the thick, warm air in the café coaxes the cold and the damp out of its patrons' clothing, carrying it up and away to float above the ceiling fans like a lazy queen. The way the dim, sepia lights slip and slide off the dark wood of the tables and chairs like liquid, never seeming to catch onto anything long enough to fully illuminate it, calling forth images of vintage bars filled with cigar smoke, sultry dames, and weary men. The way the aromas of your friends' different drinks - Jack's strong coffee, Alfie and Zoe's rich hot cocoa, Louise's fragrant tea, Phil and Dan's vanilla-tinged cappuccinos - hover over the table, intertwining into a sweet, spicy, aromatic mess. The way your fingertip is numb from tracing circles in the condensation on your water glass. The way your throat feels after singing all night in the cold and wet. You will never forget this.

********

We two have run about the slopes,
And picked the daisies fine;
But we've wandered many a weary foot,
Since auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We'll take a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

********

A/N:

Blah blah, suggestions :3

I'm not sure if you noticed, but I picked some kewl Christmassy videos and paired them with the previous chapters. It's not super important, but it's a thing, so if you're interested *shrugs*

Happy Christmas
virtues