You Can Trust Me (Keith Powers Story)

5

Lover Boy like the band?

Manhattan, NY

• October 21, 2017 •
• 4:34 pm •

Sometimes all you can do is smile.
Move on with your day,
hold back the tears,
and pretend you're okay.

__________

I'm honestly scared of this day. This is the day that I officially take two steps out of my huge and overbearing bubble. I actually agreed to go to the mall and spend time with someone that I barely know and convinced myself that it'd be nice to invite them somewhere afterwards, adding more onto our hangout time. Of course, I don't even think about if the day will take a wrong turn and I end up an awkward mess for the remainder of the day because she wanted to get to know me better. You know, the usual small talk you do when you first decide to chill with someone.

Now that I sit here waiting for her, I'm wondering if I actually thought this through before I accepted her offer.

Did I mention that I have social anxiety?

When I was younger, other kids would occasionally make fun of my name since I was just named after a "stupid planet". All throughout elementary school, my friends list didn't exactly consist of names besides spongebob and Patrick. When I said that show has always been my favorite, I really meant always. I hold that cartoon close to my heart. When I got home from school everyday, turning on the tv to watch that was a continuous routine. It helped me forget about my reality as an eight year old kid with a planet for a name.

Of course once I met Maria a lot of my fears of opening up to anyone slowly went away. She helped me climb out of my shell and stood by my side throughout the rest of our school years. She actually liked my name, never judged me, and accepted me for who I truly was. That's why after she left, it was like I lost myself again. I didn't know what to do so I assumed that the best thing to do would be to crawl back into the same box that I was in before and add three locks on the door.

Who else was going to be able to do what she did for me?

So even though I've grown to learn how to speak professionally and not stutter when it comes to brief conversations, having a full blown conversation with someone other than my brother or mom is still a real struggle for me.

Veronica: Hey girlie I'm outside! - 4:36 pm

Me: Alrighy, coming. - 4:36 pm

Let's see how this goes.

I put my satchel over my shoulder and walk down the stairs. After rubbing Coco's belly and telling her that I'll miss her, I put her in her cage and head to the kitchen to grab a water bottle from the fridge.

I lock my door after turning the lights off and proceed down the carpeted hallway of my apartment complex.

Once I'm outside and I spot Veronica across the street waiting outside of her dark blue BMW convertible, I try to control my slight nervousness. I'm really about to hang out with someone that's not a relative or a cheating ex boyfriend.

I attempt to hide my tenseness as she gives me a friendly hug after noticing I was coming her way. Be normal Venus, damn.

"You look cute Vee! Oh is it okay if I call you that? If not then that's ight." Veronica nervously laughs as she starts the engine of the car.