Inside

Broken

This is going to be the last one for a while I think so bear with me.

I don't have the strength or energy to do this anymore, to write normal. Both my best friend and my boyfriend left me today. They say it was for my own good. Better to hurt me with the truth then comfort me with a lie. But both of them within 7 hours really? I'm not that strong. In fact I'm not strong at all. They made me strong. I don't understand though. How do you lose feelings for someone you loved dearly? How can you leave someone when they're hurt because they're being too negative and they can't handle it? I'm sorry but I just don't get it. I don't understand. And no one can tell me. I know it's me that's the problem but I honestly thought that these two would look past that. They have before and now I guess they can't take it anymore. I just wanted things to be right. I just want to be happy like everyone else. I'm a good person. So why can't I have good things that last? I would see my arm run red but I made a promise. I promised to never do it again, out of love. But now although I have family and very few I can call friend, I've never felt more alone. I have to be strong and smile. Even if I have to fake it. If either of you read this I'm just so sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be better. I'm sorry I'm not what you needed. I'm sorry you feel the way I do. If you saw me now you would see the real me. Vulnerable. Hurt. Weak. Worried. Broken.