Chapter 18: Adjusting: Malone: July 30, 4996

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  He walks away from me and I'm left to go back home to my SA. Baily's friend "Fidem" came up with the name Solus Amare. Another single woman, I was living with Baily but she kicked me out as soon as I was able to walk again. I couldn't even make it to the door yet and out I went. I didn't starve with her, as she promised. But even though I was trying to be nice, I was trying to flirt because she was beautiful. I wanted to get laid, I missed my chance to go on a Woman raid. But right now that wouldn't do well. I would just be ripped limb from limb by Flynn and Dorian.

Fidem saw that I was sleeping on the floor because I was so tired from trying to walk, I had such a hard time. She took me home, and I just relaxed. It took me time to still get used to not speaking. But the lack of filter on my mind, kept her knowing exactly how I felt. Eight days into being in this village we were together and the other women who used to visit and try to just have sex with me because they were trying to claim me and have fun with me. That's how the women worked around here. The women knew they were safe from pregnancy so they usually traded men around as they pleased for different goods and services there were only 8 men and 40 something women. Flynn, Dorian, Chief and myself were half of the men here. The men couldn't get them pregnant, the old chief, that we called "Chief" was the first one to get someone pregnant for as long as they could remember excluding Dorian, Tara didn't let anyone touch Dorian. And that woman was Baily. The second one to get pregnant was Tara, and they had a daughter as well that was 'Marie'. And the woman who has had her eye on Flynn since he got here claims to be pregnant as well but people aren't excited about it, they are pretty much disgusted by it. She refused to restrain herself in the slightest and would just come up in front of him at random times even during war briefs and training in the day or at night and just drop his pants and put him in her. At first, he was disgusted confused and reluctant after a few days he was already used to it. It became something that just, happened.

Fidem is just in the living room she has at her place she dug out a much larger space than Baily, separate relaxing quarters than the sleeping room and cooking room. They were actually all separate round rooms instead of one large room. And she filled our sleeping pit with herbs so it smells nice as she rides me at night and as we fall asleep together. It doesn't matter that she is taller than me at 2.2 meters tall second tallest one in the village. This week she was bleeding from her vagina because she is not pregnant, it's the first time I'm seeing this and I don't understand why women are punished for not being pregnant. This means that other women bring her food and replaces the ferns in which she sits on as needed for when they are bloody and all women are treated this way as not to attract predators.

I continue digging a sleeping pit for myself for while she is bleeding. From what I understand it only lasts 3-4 days. But still, hygiene here overall is subpar because of the water situation. So I don't want to get blood on me. I walk in and begin talking to her. She looks like she is in immense pain. After a while she demands I walk to her. And I know the drill because it's been like this for the past 4 days. I rub my hands together hard and fast and I put them on her lower abdomen. And she presses them into her. And she releases and asks for it again. I do this over and over and over as we just converse back and forth in our heads about any topic that comes to mind keeping it a private conversation by staying forehead to forehead.

Flynn catches us together and he clears his throat.

"Sorry to disturb the sweet moment. Dorian has asked me to come get you." 

"That's ok, I've been here for a while. Did he say what he wanted?" 

"Plans in two days for the convoy might have changed he wants to test your abilities before he can say for sure." 

I kiss my SA goodbye for a while since I don't know how long it's going to take. 

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