Phan Oneshots

Perfect Disaster

Dan and Phil go on a blind date, and though things don't go as planned, it just might be the start of something. (1594 words)

Warning: swearing, alchohol

Hi, it's Maggie. First published story ahhhhh!!!! This is partially based off of Awkward Fancy Meal. Anyways, I'm always looking to improve so if you have any suggestions please leave them in the comments. Without further ado...

Dan isn't quite sure how he has ended up here. He had promised himself he was done with blind dates. But all it took was a few words from his friends about how Dan should "just try one more time" and here he is, alternating between the clock, Phil is 17 minutes late, and the salmon, and coming to terms with the fact that the latter will probably be his only date. Just then a man runs toward him, attracting stares from the others in the fancy restaurant.

"Are you Dan?" he asks breathlessly.

"I am," Dan says coldly.

"I'm Phil."

"You're late."

"Oh my god, I am so sorry. You wouldn't believe what happened to me on the way here. I was on the tube, and I sat next to this woman who kept looking under the seat every few minutes. So I asked if everything was okay, if she had lost anything, and she said yes, she had lost the squirrels she was going to release. They had been at the wildlife rescue center she worked at."

"Naturally," Dan says dryly. How gullible does Phil think he is?

"So I just had to help her find them, because how precious is that? I thought it would only take a few minutes, because the tube was pretty much empty and I didn't think there were many places they could hide. But they were so fast! By the time we found them all, I had passed by my station and had to go back. Again, I'm so  sorry."

"That's the craziest excuse I've ever heard, and I've come up with quite a few for not turning in homework."

Phil looks startled. "I-you don't believe me? Look, I know it sounds crazy, but it really did happen. I swear. I'm telling the truth. I'm sorry, I really am."

"I've had plenty of time to think about what I'm ordering, at least."

"I'm s-"

"You're sorry. I know."

Just then, the waiter comes over. "What would you like to drink? If you haven't looked at our extensive beverage menu yet, I can give you a few minutes."

"Oh no, we're ready," Dan says, whirling around to where the waiter just happens to be, and awkwardly bumping into him. Phil stifles a giggle. Dan glares at him. "I'd like the Merlot."

"I'd like the erm..."

"If you wanted more time, you could have just asked."

"The water! Sorry, the name just slipped my mind."

The waiter gives Phil a snooty look and walks away.

"I guess I deserved that."

Dan feels a pang of guilt, but says nothing.

"I'm going to the restroom, be right back," Phil says.

"Alright,"Dan says, pulling out his phone. One new text from Louise.

Louise: How is it going?

Dan: Not well. He was late and I was a real arse about it.

Louise: Yikes. Where is he now?

Dan: He went to the bathroom, possibly to escape via a back window.

Dan: He's coming back.

Louise: Good luck.