Misguided

Chapter 7: It's Not You

Jamal went over and over in his mind about how he would break the news, as he heard Tanya's erratic breathing on the phone. He had everything planned out about what he was going to say. It was just that Tanya always did something to his mental, and he would often get sidetracked by her sweet spirit and soft voice.

He reflected back on how his "surprise" was revealed to him in the past two days.

When his brother dropped Amelia off to him, Christine called shortly after saying that she forgot to pack her inhaler. Their daughter had a serious asthma condition and it was something they did not play with.

He knew Christine well. She was anal about everything concerning her child, and had never forgotten it in all of Amelia's four years before. Somehow he sensed it was part of her plan.

Amelia became antsy after he got off the phone with her mother and he explained they would be going to pick up the inhaler. Jamal recognized how skittish his daughter had become, and that was confirmation enough that his suspicions were right.

He was nervous as he walked the path to the front door of the two story home where he once resided, and he purchased for his family. After fumbling with the keys for a moment, he heard the garage door open and turned to take that route inside. His jaw fell as he observed the person standing there in a blue and white striped maxi dress. He had to blink twice to make sure of what he was seeing.

If he was in disbelief, he was sure Tanya would experience the shock too.

Shit, he thought.  There was no easy way to tell her this.

"She's pregnant, Tanya," he said.

Tanya was stunned to say the least. She also realized that he didn't use a sweet pet name to refer to her in that moment.

No baby, sweetheart, beautiful... nothing. Where the hell was he going with this?

To absorb some of her shock, she wanted to get answers and chose to investigate a little further.

"Who?" She asked, in a don't play with me tone. She knew who he was talking about. She just wanted to be petty.

Jamal could almost see her snap her neck through the phone.

"Chris-" he attempted to answer, but Tanya cut him off.

"What does that have to do with you?" she boldly asked.

Tanya muted her phone. "Let. this. man. tell. ME. that. this. is. his. baby." She said to herself pausing after each word and placing emphasis on me. She tried playing over different scenarios in her mind on what else it could have been.

Is she pregnant by someone else and wants him to help? If it was his, she would like to know how far along she was. If he "cheated" while dating her, she would be on the next flight to deal with his trifling ass.

"It's mine." he said.

"How do you know for sure? I mean... you did say you both dated other people?" she interrogated him, wanting all the answers.

"With the timeline, it just adds up." he returned.

Tanya was about to go off on a tangent, but decided to hold on to her inner ratch, and take a different approach. She would just talk to him, so he would think this did not phase her. At this point she was so unsure of anything and didn't want to make any rash decisions.

"How far along is she?" Tanya asked.

Jamal knew that was coming. He took this moment to reassure her that he was solely involved with her the whole time they had been dating. Christine wasn't due for another few weeks.

"Wait a minute... So, before you pursued me, you slept with your wife. Hm" she grunted out. "I thought you told me that every attempt at reconciling went out the window and you guys didn't work out."

"It was just sex, Tanya. It didn't mean a thing." Jamal thought about the quickie he and Christine had in the heat of the moment, just weeks before he decided to completely pursue Tanya.

"Since she's due next month. I'll have to stay for a little and get things in order." Jamal explained.  He left out the part where he would probably relocate as well.

Tanya was livid.

This vindictive bitch, she thought. In all honesty, Tanya was more upset with Christine than Jamal at the moment. What woman would hide a baby for that long, and why hadn't anyone around known?

"So, what do you plan to do?" She wanted to know where that left them now.

He told her that he was unsure at first, until Christine suggested they spoke to the pastor at his home church. After their meeting, he felt compelled to stay for the sake of his family. He wasn't sure if he could ever truly love his wife in the way that he could offer someone else. However, Jamal would at least try.

"I really do hope you understand. I just want to be there to raise my son into a man. It will also show my daughters that marriage really works Tan. If all things fail-" his sorry speech was interrupted. He didn't even get to add the part that they would be able to get another shot if it didn't work out.

"What the actual fu-... Jamal, you know what..." she said taking a deep breath. "Nevermind."

She was lost for words. What the hell! She was no one's last resort or second choice, and she let him know that.

Tanya heard background noise that she couldn't make out.

"I have to go." Jamal said, before he ended their call. Tanya didn't even finish getting her turn to speak.

She felt like her ideal of a happy relationship was snatched away from her in an instant, and literally took her breath away.

It was a slap in the face that he could just dismiss her without warning, proving that she meant nothing to him.

The man she loved, and who she thought loved her back made a choice... and all she could hear her conscience saying was, "It's not you."