Misguided

Chapter 5: Regret

Tanya awoke before Jamal the next morning.  She mentally slapped herself for falling into his trap, because she knew sex didn't fix anything.  She sure hoped that was not apart of his apology.

This could never happen again.  She knew she shouldn't ignore the warning signs she was getting, picking up on some all too familiar traits. Maybe she was trying to convince herself a little too much that he was telling the truth.

Jamal rolled over when he heard Tanya shut the bedroom door, heading to the bathroom.  He knew she was mad, she wasn't even trying to be quiet as he slept.

He had a slight headache from the night before, as Fireball always does that too him.  He couldn't believe that he allowed himself to get that intoxicated.  He thought he was finished with that in college.  Maybe it was a mixture of his friends amping him up for his birthday, and the fact that he may have been drowning his feelings about Tanya, but he was definitely turnt. 

When he saw her last night, he just couldn't refrain, and definitely felt that he needed the liquid courage to approach her... just in case she tried some "get the hell away from me" type stuff in public.  She did have a little fiery personality. 

Tanya peeked through the crack of her bedroom door and took notice of his broad shoulders, and strong back.  As much as wanted him to stay, she had to build up her strength to ask him to leave.  She couldn't allow him to think the stunt he pulled was okay. 

"Heyyy... Morning." she drug out with a tight lipped smile.  "I kind of have some things to do today, so you have to go."

"Come on T.  Don't do me like that.  It's Saturday, What do you have to do today?" He questioned.

She drug out a long sigh.  "Please don't do this, Jamal.  I don't feel like this is healthy at all.  I am still trying to figure what I am going to do about this... about us."

At least she was still thinking about there being an us. he thought.

He got up from the bed, nonchalantly exposing his morning glory and wrapped Tanya in a tight hug. He towered over her, kissing her forehead.   

"You have to believe me when I tell you that I never meant to hurt you, or wanted things to come out like that.  If that's any consolation." he explained.

He himself had no idea what he was doing.  He was about to have one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel if his "ex" ever found out.  He was falling for Tanya more each day, and stupidly hoped that sex would have helped her see that last night.  He needed to hurry up with this divorce before he lost everything.

Tanya backed away, not wanting to be wrapped up in the fantasy.  She heard him... loud and clear, but also believed that actions spoke much louder than words. 

"I am going to go make some coffee." she said exiting her bedroom. 

While in the kitchen, she could hear him in the bathroom freshening up and doing his daily hygiene. 

"Good, he's leaving."  she mumbled to herself.  She wondered if he thought that because he still had his spare toothbrush and a drawer that things were still cool between them, because it was not.  She shouldn't even have mentioned that she still was considering their relationship. 

Jamal entered her kitchen wearing grey joggers and a t-shirt, with his favorite pair of Polo socks.  He could see her sipping from the coffee mug he bought her and smiled a little on the inside.

"So, none for me?" He asked.

Tanya rolled her eyes and handed him the cup she already filled, that sat behind her on the counter.  She was about to pull out a pan and make some breakfast for herself assuming that he was going to leave.