Fifty Shades of Phoebe Grey

Chapter Ten

  

               This week has come and gone leaving me standing in front of my mirror getting ready for my dinner with parker. If I said I wasn't nervous I'd be lying. The last time we saw each other was two years ago and we all know how badly that went. Part of me misses him, but I'm mostly still terrified of what he said he was. I have no idea if he is still into that kind of thing or not. Smoothing down my long sleeve body con mini dress I sigh and decide not to overthink it. It is just one dinner the least I can do if hear him out.

                It isn't long before I hear a knock at my door. Briskly walking to the door and look through the peep hole to see who it is. Unsurprisingly it is parker, taking a deep breath I open the door. I don't even given him the option because I step out and close the door behind me locking it.

         "you look beautiful."  he complements while not so subtly checking me out.

        " thank you. You don't look to bad yourself." I tease

        "thank you darling." he chuckles

        " so where are you taking me?" I ask

        "its a surprise." he smirks

                   Sighing I follow him to the elevator keeping a good amount of distance between us. The elevator ride feels like it takes for ever and the awkward silence is killing me. As soon as we step off I take a deep breath and ready myself for what will probably be the most awkward car ride of my life.

             When we pull into the parking lot I realize that he has taken me to the restaurant that he took me to on our first date. The thought of that night makes me smile and almost forget the way things ended. I quickly recompose myself hoping that Parker didnt catch onto my smile, but when I look over he is intently watching me. Sighing once again I step out of his car, without waiting for him to open my door. Walking inside he is greeted the same way he was two years ago. We are escorted to the same table as last time as well. I cant help but think of how well planned out this is. Before I can reach my seat Parker has already pulled the chair out waiting for me to sit down so he can push me in. giving a slight smile of appreciation I sit down. After our orders are placed I become increasing nervous that the conversation I've been dreading is gonna start any minute. Right as he is about to say something the waiter returns to tell us that one of the items we ordered is out of stock. Parker quickly gives the waiter a different order before turning his attention back to me.

          "so Phoebe, I know your wondering why I've asked you to dinner after two years of no communication between us." he states

         "yeah, I am wondering that." I whisper almost to myself but still loud enough for him to hear.

          " I know I scared you off back then and I haven't been able to forgive myself since. I knew you weren't ready to learn about that side of me, so I apologize for that. You must know that I do really care about you."

         "Parker, I get what you saying I really do, but I don't think that I could ever be okay with what you do. Its so wrong. I don't even know how you could  even get off on hurting girls." I sigh shaking my head

         " that's where your misunderstanding things. I don't get off on hurting girls, hell I actually hate seeing my sub in pain. Punishment is just a last resort for bad behavior."

         " why is punishment even necessary. You don't own a girl, and you definitely cant tell her what to do. Those views have been long gone since like the fifty's." I say getting slightly irritated.

        " phoebe. There is still so much about this lifestyle that you don't understand. There is so much to explain about it, but this definitely is not the place to do that."

         " I'm not coming back to your place Parker."

          " I'm not asking you to. All I'm asking is that you research it yourself. Ill send you a list of things to look up. Hopefully by doing so, you'll be able to understand the way I am and maybe even try it."

         " hold your horses buddy. I will look it up and do my own research, but do not and I mean do not go getting any ideas about us getting back together. I still and not okay with any of this. We can talk again after I do my own research and then we will go from there." I say in the most intimidating voice I can muster up.

            Sighing Parker nods in agreement and the rest of the dinner continues in mostly silence. Every once and a while we exchange some small talk.  The ride back to my place is silent but thankful it is not as awkward now. Staring out the window I think about everything we talked about and how he can possibly think that me researching this crap will change my mind about him. I wonder if maybe I should bring all of this up to my mom. She has basically been my best friend, besides Madison of course, and I've always been able to tell her anything.

           Once home I shower before crawling into bed with my laptop. I quickly do a Search on the term BDSM. According to the website I am reading it stands for Bondage/discipline, dominant/submissive, sadism/masochism. The more I search the more I start to see what Parker meant by its not all about pain. He never mentioned that there are different sub groups under the term BDSM. The fact that there are strict rules about respecting someone's limits makes me feel a little better. At least now I know he would never do something to me that I was definitely not okay with. Eventually I tire out from all the ready and curl myself up into a ball before falling asleep with the tab still open on my computer.

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I am going to try to get on a schedule of updating my books. For this one I'm gonna try for Thursdays. I'm also trying to write a little for each book daily that way I can stay ahead instead of trying to write the whole chapter the day I plan to upload.

As always if your enjoying my book please don't forget to comment and vote :)

-Hannah