The Foster Girl || Harry Styles

- 52 -

"Hey," Adam says with a cautious smile. I stood before him in my pajamas with my hair in a stupid looking bun. No makeup. No shower. Au natural.

"Come on in," I say with a raspy voice. I walked through the house to the kitchen as he followed. "Jamie's at work. You won't have to worry about her wrath today."

He wasn't amused by my joke this time. He kept that concerned look plastered on his face.

"Who exactly is Harry Styles?" he asks. "Like, I know who he is, but...why was he at your house late last night?"

"He's my ex-boyfriend," I state numbly, ripping off a piece of my breakfast bagel and eating it.

"Oh," he says, almost seeming surprised.

"Yeah," I say slowly, swallowing my food.

"I went to leave and ran into him. He seemed pretty pissed off. Are you alright?"

"I don't know," I say truthfully. I guess Adam never figured out that Harry wasn't only my ex-boyfriend, but my legit boyfriend. Up until last night at least.

"Did he wake you up?"

"No," I shake my head. "I was awake."

"What did he want?"

"We should stop with the questions, don't you think? I'm still trying to comprehend everything that happened yesterday. All this is just giving me a migraine." I take another bite of bagel.

"Sorry," Adam says guiltily.

"Its fine," I assure, taking the orange juice from the fridge and pouring myself a glass.

"Do you want me to go? I just thought I'd stop by to see how you were doing after last night."

"Nah," I say, taking a long sip of juice. "Wanna watch television?" I ask dully. He still looked unsure, but nodded anyway. "Great," I say, walking into the living room and sitting down. He carefully sits down next to me while I hit the power button on the remote. I lean my head on him as I scroll through the channels.

"This," I say, stopping at a gossip show. "This is perfect."

I take another monster sized bite of bagel, not even caring what I looked like right now. Adam seemed afraid to speak, not quite sure how to react to my indifferent attitude toward everything.

"Look," I say with a mouth full of food. "See the one with the curly hair?"

Adam doesn't respond.

"He's my ex-boyfriend," I inform him anyway. "Harry Styles." I pause the TV on his face. "And you wanna hear something crazy?" Again, no reaction from Adam. "I'm still in love with him." I laughed, but my voice held no sincere emotion. "Isn't that crazy?!"

"You're...in love with him?" he confirms, clearly confused and unsure of anything right now.

"Yup. And it's all just fucked up!" I continue. "Because I love him! But then you come along and you're goddamn perfect! Perfect! And I'm so damn afraid to hurt you because of that one bitchwho already did! And it's all just fucked up, ya know?!"

Another bite of bagel.

"Are you alright?" he asks me, sounding a tad bit annoyed. I shake my head.

"Far from it," I tell him, swallowing my food. "I'm not alright because Harry doesn't love me anymore. But you do. And I really like you, but I don't love you. Not like I love Harry. I'm in love with Harry. And I'm a terrible person, so I'm telling you straight up not to fall in love with me because I'm a bitch and I will only break your heart. I'm not the one for you, trust me. You see that?" I say, pointing once more at the TV. "I'm in love with that. And I don't have a damn clue what to do about it."

Adam gets up from his seat, finally having heard enough I guess. "I think you need to sort out your thoughts," he says. He didn't sound mad or sad or...anything really. He just sounded understanding with maybe a small ounce of bitterness. Like I was blabbering random bullshit that meant nothing. But the truth is that it didn't mean nothing. I was ranting, yes, but it meant a lot. I was ranting the truth. I don't love Adam. I love Harry.

"Adam," I say, getting up and taking his hand in mine. "You're like the sweetest guy I have ever met ever. You're nice and perfect and everything I thought I would ever want. And I really really like you. And maybe in another world, I would fall in love with you and things would be normal and right and we'd get married one day and do things properly. But that's not the case. And I'm in love with someone else."

And then for him it seemed to finally click. The pain set in on his features, and the heartbreak was written all over his face.

"You will find someone so much better than me, I promise," I tell him. "There is someone out there who is so perfect for you, but that someone is not me. And I'm sorry."

"I understand," he says lifelessly. "If this is what you want...I have no right to argue."

I hugged him one last time, leaving a quick peck on his cheek.

"Goodbye Nicole," he mutters, almost silently. I gave a sad smile as he made his way to the door.

And then I was alone. Completely and utterly alone. I didn't have Harry. I didn't have Adam. All I had was this big empty house to sit in and think.

I thought after breaking up with Adam I would feel better. I thought I would feel less guilty. That's not the case at all. Instead, I feel accountable. It's my fault that Harry's upset. It's my fault that Adam's upset. It's my fault that I'm upset. It's all just my fault and no one else's. I built up this big lie and now it's all come crumbling down on me, and there's nothing I can do about it.

AUTHORS NOTE

hey guys! so this is unrelated to the story, but my other book Don't Let Go has been nominated for Best Liam in @minnty's contest for the One Direction Wattys and I need your help to win! :) To vote for me all you have to do is click on this link>> http://www.wattpad.com/34729476-the-fanfiction-watty-awards-2014-contest-best-liam << and comment the number 4. THATS IT :) itll take you like two seconds and it would mean the world to me. You can vote once a day until May 30!! also, im watching who's voting ;) that means that if you vote, I'll see it, and you might just get something in return. [maybe a dedication, maybe ill check out your story, maybe ill promote you... you never know ;)]. but yeah, it would really mean the world to me! thank you!

Also i have an account on Onedirectionfanfiction.com with this story and like three of my others posted. yall should check it out because i'm kind of a loser over there xD my username is ThatTomlinsonGirl16 . and hey if you leave a review on my story on that site with your wattpad username included you might just get something c; you never know. Anywhore, thank you so much for reading!! i love you guys so much<3 x