The boy who could fix

Chapter 3-Calm down the enthusiasm

"Chapter 3-Calm down the enthusiasm 

"So Valerie, why don't you tell me in your own words how you feel, forget everything about what your mom have told you. Just speak right from your mind." The therapist said. 

Her soft and calm voice made me trust her. So eventually I did tell her, everything. I went from a black and white mind, with thoughts that everything I felt was not real. To a colorful mind,with understanding of every little feeling, why I had them. It felt so good to understand my mind.

Then I got diagnosed.

First it was anxiety, then depression, and agoraphobia 

panic attacks,

Bipolar,

The list goes on and on. Then it didn't feel so good anymore

"You are just going to get more and more diagnoses if you keep going to therapy" My mom told me after I asked for her how-to-live-a-smart-life advice. "They earn money to lure people like you to think that it is something wrong with you."

People like me? 

My mom never agreed to send me to therapy, as you may understand now, she didn't believe in something involving mental health. It was my school who suggested it. 

It all started when I was fourteen. Right before the winter came. I started to skip school, because I was afraid. Afraid of what?I don't know.  I just became anxious and started to overthink. Think about everything that could go wrong. So I decided it was best for me to just be home.

The school didn't agree to my idea. Neither did my mom. The confusing part was that the school thought I was mentally exhausted and needed therapy. My mom on the other hand thought I was lazy, that all I needed was to sharpen up and be a normal kid.

I ended up in therapy, at first it was good. But then I found out that everything that my mom told me about therapy was true. 

It's simply just a big faux, a lie.

All I said to my therapist was suddenly used against me. Everything I had said  became now proof that I'm not normal, that I was different. That I had to drown myself in pills to be a normal human being, to live in this society. Because I didn't function good enough on my own. 

When I understood that therapy was a bad idea, I got my mom to teach me how to lie so I could get out of it. She must have done it several times before, because it worked.

I became a lier, only said things that I knew they wanted me to feel.

Then she taught me how to face this mad world without getting mad myself.

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"Ey, Valerie" a dark,boyish and happy voice greets me by the locker. 

"Hey Jacob" I say with a smile. "Whats up?"

I turn away from him for a moment to open my locker and get my books for the next class, math.

"Not much, just creeping by your locker." He says while he leans towards the locker beside mine.

"I heard about your little situation with Steve."

Steve? 

AAAh the sport idiot who got a little to much intimate with me yesterday.

"He is a creep" I answer, shaking  my head to get rid of the memory.

Jacob nods to show that he agrees. "Speaking of the devil, there he is." Jacob says, he gaze at something behind me. I turn around. The sight that comes when I turn around is Steve, glaring at me. His eyes is threatening.