2 Strings That Play As One

Just Not Good Enough

Emma was sitting on her bed, knees pulled to her chest and eyes filled with tears that were begging her to let them fall and freely roll down her cheeks, but she didn't give in. Nathan was coming over for a project, and she couldn't be a mess before that. Plus, her makeup would get ruined and that would not make for a fun experience on her part. She really didn't want to cancel on him. but it got to the point where she had to try. As she was about to pick up her phone, the doorbell rang. Her little sister ran and opened it.

"EMMAAAAAA, YOUR FRIEND IS HERE."

"Okay cool, tell him to stay downstairs, I'll be there in a minute."

"NOPE, HE'S COMING UPSTAIRS BECAUSE I TOLD HIM SO!"

And that was the moment of panic. As Nathan made his way upstairs, Emma struggled to fix some of her makeup, stop herself from crying, and plaster on a smile. She missed the smile part by just a second. He opened her door to see her with a tissue in her hand, gently dabbing her face. She slowly turned to face him, a small smile on her face.

"Hi...."

She said awkwardly. 'Damn,' she thought. 'I was just a second too late...'

"Were you....crying?"

Nathan asks.

"It's not like you haven't seen me cry before..."

She responds, not in the most cheerful voice.

"But...why were you crying?"

"Lots of reasons.."

She admits quietly, but he hears her.

"There has to be a main reason though."

Emma takes a breath.

"I'm just scared you're going to get tired of me."

"Tired of you? What do you mean by that? Why would you even say that?"

He responds, just wanting to get answers at the moment. Her answer is straightforward and brutal to herself.

"Because everyone gets tired of me."

Nathan kind of chuckles.

   "Well yeah I guess that's true."

Emma nods a bit, knowing that he's not wrong. She looks down as tears begin forming in her eyes again. She's trying to hide the fact that she's crying. Nathan notices her tears though.

"Oh-...you were serious. Well, uh, many people still care about you...and...not everyone gets tired of you..."

"No....you don't have to lie.."

She says, a sniffle following it.

"I-I'm sorry I'm such a mess...do you want to meet up t-tomorrow instead..?"

"Oh um...okay yeah, sure. I guess I'll, uh....see you tomorrow?"

Nathan responds. Emma nods a bit and tries to stop herself from crying more.

"See you tomorrow..."

After this, Nathan leaves her room, then exits the front door. Emma returns to her bed and wraps her blanket around herself, crying like she never has before. She's more heartbroken than when he arrived, and that isn't a good sign.

It's the next day. Emma hasn't checked her phone since after what happened with Nathan. She can't bring herself to. She wakes up to her phone buzzing non-stop. 'Hey, maybe someone does care about me...' she thinks. She slowly picks up her phone and looks at the lock screen that's buzzing with notifications. Nope, just people from a group chat making plans. They don't even care to ask about her. That's absolutely perfect. She sets her phone back down and curls up, a pillow in her arms as she cries into it. Seems like everyone truly has gotten tired of her. 'I saw it coming,' she thinks, 'so why does it hurt so badly...?'  She wants to text one of her friends, talk to them about this. But she also doesn't want to bother anyone. So she just lets her emotions overwhelm her, maybe waiting for someone to care. But she knows no one will. No one has and never will. She stares up at the ceiling. Emma sits up and stares across the room at her door. Nobody's home.