^^ I honestly wish he had his own movie. I would so watch it.
[6x03]
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
INSIDE BELL'S STORE, OTHERWORLDLY - 1994
(Damon comes to the wine section of the store and picks up a bottle. He suddenly hears a sound near and puts the bottle back. He goes ahead and sees a man lounged on a chair munching on pork rinds.)
(Damon stares, weirdly shocked. Kai keeps munching, Damon becomes irritated.)
Damon: "that is gonna have to stop."
Kai: "oh you think this is annoying? Hmm. Try listening to you and Bonnie bicker every five minutes."
Damon: "So you've been following us."
Kai: "Of course I have. You two are the closest thing I have to a TV. I mean, you're no "Baywatch", but... oh remember "Baywatch"?"
Damon: "No I do not."
Kai: "Oh. Oh man, you gotta watch it. You like lifeguards, like... hot ones?"
Damon: "Today has been a monumentally bad day in a sea of bad days, so I'm gonna need to know who you are, what you're doing here, and how it relates to me, or I'm gonna rip your throat out."
Kai: "ooh, temper's gonna get you in trouble, Damon. it's already driven Bonnie away how many times? Oh, oh oh, wait I know. thirteen."
Damon: "You think my temper's bad with her? I like her. You not so much."
(He superspeeds and holds Kai up by his collar.)
Kai: "Ok. Ok. Sorry. Seriously. I'm just kind of rusty on the face-to-face type human interactions."
(Damon drops him.) "Answers now!"
Kai: "Maybe you should have a drink. That usually calms you down."
Damon: "Thanks."
Kai: "Then makes you angry, then sad, then calm again. it's a weird cycle, and look, if you really wanna know the reason I'm following you... it's because I want.. to kill you."
(Damon took a swig of the bourbon and suddenly coughs it out. His skin around the mouth starts burning.)
Kai: "Vervain in your bourbon. Who didn't see that one coming? Now who buys patio furniture from a grocery store? I mean, somebody must. Otherwise, it... it wouldn't be here". (He picks up a beach umbrella and breaks it's wooden end in two) "But now I'm a little unfamiliar with vampires, but from what I've gathered, a stake in the heart should do it, right?"
(Damon forwards his hand but Kai stabs it.)
Damon: Aah!
Kai: "You always fight dirty, Damon. like that time you and Bonnie played monopoly and you stole from the bank. Not cool."
(Damon manages to free his hand and stands up.) "I'm gonna rip your head off."
Kai: "No. you're not." (He smashes all the bottles on the shelf and the liquid from it burns Damon's skin and he falls to the floor again) "I didn't know which bottle you'd take, so I vervained them all." (He raises his hand to stab Damon again)
Bonnie: "Stay away from him. "
Kai: "The useless one is here. Thank god. I've watched you try to do magic for months now. What are you gonna do, fail at me? It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you."
(Bonnie looks at Damon who looks back at her. she then looks at a candle on the shelf and it lights up. Damon is relieved while Bonnie is happily surprised.)
Kai: "Uh-oh."
Bonnie: "Run. (Damon superspeeds out of there) Phesmatos Incendia. (Fire lights up in front of Kai)
Kai: "Ok. Ok. Ok." (He puts his hands up in surrender)
Bonnie: "Giving up so soon? I'm embarrassed for you." (Damon knocks him out from behind) Damon: "Sorry I called you the most annoying person in the world. I hadn't met him yet. "
(Bonnie smiles at Damon.)
(Back in the Salvatore boarding house, Kai is tied to a chair as he slowly regains consciousness.)
Damon: "You're awake. Good. Now for the Q&A portion of the evening."
Kai: "Let me guess. I answer right, I get a pork rind. Wrong, I get a poker."
Damon: "What? No, no, no. These are for me. You just get the poker."
Kai: "Yeah, you don't have to do that."
Damon: "No?"
Kai: "We're all on the same team."
Bonnie: "Really? Do you always try and kill your teammates?"
Kai: "The important thing is that you have your magic back. It worked." (Damon and Bonnie look at each other) "What, you... you didn't really think I'd kill Damon, did you? Heh, in what universe does that make sense? I wouldn't kill 1/3 of our population, I'm not a monster. I knew Bonnie would show up. She always come back, all thirteen times, and I knew with the right motivation she'd be able to access her magic, although I-I did get a little worried with all your bickering that Damon's life wouldn't be enough motivation, (Damon and Bonnie look unamused), but turns out it was. I guess that's just how you two show your love."
Bonnie: "So you did all that just to make sure I would have my magic?"
Kai: "Of course I did. Because your magic is the key to getting the hell out of here."
(Damon and Bonnie look on, clearly affected by the revelation.)
