My mother's funeral was on Sunday couple weeks after her death. There are no words to describe what I was thinking during her funeral. First Tyler now my mom? Why would someone do this? Who would do this? I have never lost a family member, so I didn't really know what to do? I always looked up to her. I always wanted to make her proud.
My dad let my sister and I take a few weeks off from school to heal and to get back to our some what 'normal' life. The following Monday I did the same as any other day. I made our lunches and my dad took us to school. None of us said anything the whole trip. All you heard was that sweet peaceful hum from the engine. We dropped off my sister and headed for my school. I stared out the window and tried to not think about what happened but think about something else. While watching trees pass we came up to my school. I started to head out of the car when my dad grabbed my hand. He stared at my eyes holding back his tears and said
"Don't tell anyone about your mother." He squeezed my hand making sure I knew he was being serious. I nodded and left the car.
The bell rang for first period, so I didn't have time to see my friends. I went to the back of the class to try and not draw any attention to myself. I keep my head down and notice someone sits next to me right before class starts. It's Adam! Oh no! I never went to the movie he asked me to.I hope he doesn't say anything. He wouldn't understand. Once class starts he slides a note on my desk. I don't want to open it because I already know what it's going to say. I finally get to courage to open it up.
"Why didn't you go to the movie? I waited for you."
I wrote back,
"I'm sorry I really wanted to go but I had some family stuff go on" I folded the paper and slides it underneath his notebook. I felt so bad for not going and I want to make it up to him, but for now I need to focus on this book. In class we are reading Hamlet well we supposed to be. He put the note on my desk and with hesitation I opened it."What happened?" I knew I couldn't tell him even though I wanted to, and I couldn't make something up I couldn't lie to him. I didn't know what to say.
"I...I was sick. I'm sorry I didn't go can I make it up this Saturday?" I drew to boxes check yes or check no. He smiled and gave it back to me. He checked yes I smiled and put the note in my notebook.When lunch rolled around I got my lunch and gave it to Becky as usual. Once everyone got there they just stared at me.
"So are you going to explain why you were gone for so long or are we just going to sit here and stare at you all of lunch?" Becky asked stuffing her face with a peanut butter jelly sandwich.
"I was sick"I said. Anna nodded and asked "ok anyways whatever happened with you and that one guy? Adam right?"
"Yeah. Well I never went to the movie my dad told me to stay home. I told him I would go this Saturday." Well at least if nothing weird happens.
That night once I got home dinner was already made and was getting set on the table by Kenzie. My dad was in the office doing work. I grab some forks and starting setting them by everyone's spot.
"Did you make dinner?" I ask looking at Kenzie. she sets the last plate down and said,
"No dad made it then said he had some special work to work on." She looked confused. I set down the silverware and starting to making my way to him. Kenzie came running up to me and stopped me.
"No don't go in there he said he wanted to be left alone."I nudged her to the side, and continued to walk to the office.
"Dad?"I said while knocking on the door. He was sitting in the chair facing toward the wall holding papers. He wasn't looking at them though. He was staring straight looking at nothing. his face was blank like a blank canvas a painter just needed to paint some expression. I let myself in and pulled up a chair from the corner. "What are those?" I pointed at the papers on his lap. He looked down at them then looking at me longing for.. something.
"There is something about this family I think you should know, but you can't tell anyone."He grabbed my hand. "you were born with this disease. It runs in our family your mother had it, and so did her mother. This disease is somewhat like a curse. You can't control when this happens,but you have the power to kill people without you even knowing it. You can't control it when you are younger, but you will have to try and control it. Now I don't know when you do this or if you will. When you where born you had one eye brown and another was like a reddish pink color. You weren't crying, but you weren't happy either. The doctor told us to keep an eye on you, and later the night we took you home you were screaming. Not crying, but screaming. A couple hours passed when you finally stopped, and that one eye turned brown like the other." He said motioning toward my eyes. "You never did anything like that again, but to keep yourself safe and others safe you should have this." He got up to set the papers down on the desk, and he picked up this little blue box. "This was your mother's." He opened it up and inside was a necklace with a blue marble on it. "This helps control you from doing anything. The only thing is that when you feel this way you won't know it. Now your sister doesn't have this, and to keep her safe don't tell her. When your mother told her sister about what happened to her she was to scared she committed suicide. Now I love you very much and be careful." He put the necklace around my neck, and kissed the top of my forehead. Dinner was silent I couldn't eat. Why me? I thought about my mother and the times she would come home terrified. She wouldn't speak, wouldn't move. She would barely even breathe.
After I finished diner I went upstairs to my room. I knew that no one could know about this. But, how was nay of this even possible?? I had so many questions, but I knew that I couldn't get answers because the only person who could give me answers was dead. What if I killed her?? No! No! I couldn't of had. I can't deal with this all I want to do is die. All I want to do is not have this. Why couldn't my sister have it instead?? I just need to clear my head for tomorrow. I laid down on my bed rubbing the marble around my neck. The reminder of who I am, and the only thing left from my mom.
YOU ARE READING
The Hidden secrets
JugendliteraturAli had a perfect life until one day in the football field changed her life forever.