Still Queer As Folk

Episode 17

"Oh fuck", I pant as I pull off of Justin and drop down beside him. He is breathing heavy, his hair stuck to his face and his body glistening with sweat. Reach out I push his hair out of his face and kiss him. "Why is it that this never gets old. I mean after all this time and how many times we have fucked. You would think it would get repetitive at some point."

Justin props himself up more comfortably on his elbow and smiles at me. "You would not believe me if I told you. It goes against your nature." I grunt and drop on my back. I need to shower, my skin is covered in sweat and I smell of nothing but sex and Justin, not that it is a bad thing.

"Do we really have to go?" I really don't want to go to Ben and Michael's for Hunters graduation party. It's not that I don't like Hunter, I just think there are better things to do. I would gladly bury myself in Justin again.

"Yes we promised we would be there. You know how important this is to Michael, he is your best friend." I look at him and he looks distracted. He has been doing that a lot. Zoning out on me in thought, ever since Mel and Liz moved back last week.

"Hey?" I get his attention and he looks at me. "What is going on with you?" He blushes and looks away nervous. I turn up onto my side to face him and wait for him to talk.

"It is nothing Brian, just thinking." I raise a brow and he chuckles. "Ok, maybe it is not nothing, but it is not important. I have just been thinking about a lot of things lately."

"Hey, no more secrets, remember." I remind him, knowing he will cave.

"After almost dying again." I narrow my eyes at him. "I did Brian, whether you like it or not, it happened." I know that, doesn't mean it needs to be brought up.

"I have been thinking about the things I still want in life. The things I may have never had." I nod in understanding. I get that, I did something similar when I was battling cancer.

"What have you thought about? What do you still want in life?" God, this could go in any direction. I am a little nervous now at what he might say.

"I want a family, Brian." Wow, that was not what I thought he would say. I know he has always wanted kids. I knew this would come up eventually, but I was not ready for it now. "I understand you never really wanted kids, so I didn't want to bring it up."

"We have talked about this Sunshine. Keeping thing like this from each other is what pulls us apart. I know in the past I have been against the idea. I have also been against marriage." Justin chuckles and nods his head.

"Understatement, but I agree."

"I have thought about it too. I knew you wanted to have kids, so I have thought of the possibility of a family."

"You have?" Justin sounded surprised. Why is that surprising, I am not that bad anymore.

"Yes I have. Justin, if you want a family. If you want to have a kid, I am in. I knew all of this would come up one day when I married you." I pull him closer and we cuddle against one another.

"So you are ok with this. Having a baby? Having a family, with me?" I grunt at him, who else would I want a family with.

"Who do you imagine I would want a family with, if not you."

"Not what I meant. I mean just... I don't want you to agree only because it is what I want. Don't do this out of fear I will leave, because I am not going anywhere." I pull him impossible closer to me, damn straight he isn't.

"That is not what I am doing. I told you almost losing you in the bombing made me realize all the shit I was missing out on. I want to spend my life with you, I need you here, in my life." I start playing with his hair.