My Impossible Love II ✔️

16

Natasha p.o.v
I woke with this horrible back ache that I could barely even get up. I took a pain killer pill and went down to eat breakfast. Wanda came and hug me smiling like always. I love how positive she after everything that has happen to her.
"Good morning Nat how are you today??" She asked happily.
"My back hurts but I'm good" I said giving her a small smile.
"Oh are you going to eat?" She asked.
"Yeah right now" I said.
"Okay I'll go with you" She said and I nodded.
"Oh the love it's are in there" Sam said coming out of the dining room with his cereal bowl.
"Thanks for the heads up" I said laughing.
"There is space in the couch" Sam said walking towards it.
"Gotcha, don't let Tony sit in my spot" I said walking to the kitchen.
"Good morning" Steve said looking up from his cup.
"Good morning" I said trying to reach for the cereal. Thor was getting his pop tarts
"Thor can you hand me the cereal?" I said and he gave it to me.
"Thanks" I said smiling.
"Wanda you want some?" I asked.
"No im good" she said.
"Okay let's go" I said and Thor followed
"If you are coming you will sit in the other couch" I said.
"Very well" he said.
"They were making out when I went in the kitchen" Sam said as I sat next to him.
"Well they are together" I said taking a spoon full of my cereal.
"I know but we eat in there like please have some respect for the food we eat" Sam said.
"Oh not like you've never made out with someone before" I said.
"Yeah I respect food" he said and I laughed.
"Oh Bucky is coming today, working on the mission we are doing today" Sam said and I tense.
"He is coming to our mission. Fury didn't tell me anything" I said.
"Well I don't know that's Fury's business" Sam said. I was angry, how he could not tell me Banners was in the mission.  We had our past, a past I want to forget, that I choose to forget. It was tough back in the red room and he knows that.
I got up angrily walking away.
"Nat?" Wanda said.
"Not now!" I said angrily walking toward the kitchen and I slammed my cereal in the sink breaking it into pieces.
"What's up with you?" Sharon said annoyingly.
"Steve" I heard Banners said.
"Bucky" he said happily. I stood there facing their back. My body was paralyzed.
"Oh so I see your girlfriend is here. Nice to meet you, I'm glad I finally get you to see the girl that has stolen Steve's heart" Bucky said.
"Aw thanks. I'm happy I finally get to meet Steve's best friend" she said happily.
"Natalia" Bucky said. I stood there not moving.
"Natalia" he said again.
"My name is Natasha" I said turning around
"I'm happy to finally see you again" he said smiling.
"Too bad I can't say the same" I said walking away.
"Nat" Steve said walking behind me.
"What?" I asked rudely.
"Nothing" he said looking at me as I turned around.
"That's what I thought" I said turning around to go to my room. I cannot believe that James is back. Even though he was nice to me in the red room, I want to erase that part of my past forever. I know I can't do that but I need to be away from him.
"Natalia, can we just talk for a second. I haven't seen you since the fight between tony and Steve" He said grabbing my arm.
"Take your hand away from me if you don't want me to rip your arm off. And you know I'm not joking" I said.
"And you know you won't be able to, so please just let me talk to you" he said.
"We will talk plenty on the mission, don't worry" I said.
"But we won't have time to" He said.
"exactly" I said.
"Natalia" He insisted.
"James leave me alone! Go away" I said angrily making Steve approach us.
"Everything good Buck" He asked.
"Yeah just personal stuff Steve" He said looking at me in the eyes and I looked away.
"You okay?" Steve asked and I looked at him for a second admiring how pure his soul was. He was so nice and good, you could tell what he was feeling with just one look. But me, all you could see was hatred and a heartless person with no soul. My eyes showed no emotion. I can't destroyed something as pure as Steve. I've destroyed enough lives to do that to Steve. He deserves something better than what I can give him.
I turned around doing what I always do, blocking people out of my life when I don't want them to know how much I care. When I block the out of my life to keep them safe from a monster like me. When I don't want them finding out the real me.
"You can't just block people forever Natasha. I've been there and doe that. Look at where I am now" James said.
"we both know that this is the only way to go, our only option. Blocking reality is sometimes better than living in it" I said as I went inside the elevator. I went to my room silently. I laid down in my bed closing my eyes and everything went black. I woke up and went to the restroom. As I went out I saw James sitting down in a chair right next to my bed seeing an picture I had of me along with the gang.
"I am only going to say this once. get out of my room!" I said as I snatched the picture of his hands.
"You care about all of them don't you" He said.
"You know the answer to that, so don't waste my time and leave" I said.
"The girl, why you care so much about her" he asked. I looked at him puzzled.
"You are hugging her in the picture" He clarified.
"I don't need to answer your question " I said.
"I know but you will" He said.
James I have change. The person you knew, she doesn't exist. You don't know me like you think you do, not anymore at least" I said.
"Then explain please, so I can know the person that you are right now" he said.
"She reminds me of me. She has gone through a lot, and she is very young. She lost her brother a year ago, he was the only thing she had left, her parents died when she a little girl. She is all alone now, I don't want her to feel that way, the way I felt once. If I could save her from going through things that I had to go through I will gladly help her. She does not deserve anything that can harm her soul in anyway. I am not going to let that happen to her. Nobody could save me but I can save her and I will. Things were different back in the red room, our soul would darken as time went by to a point were you couldn't see it anymore. After a while you forget you have one, so it is better off not having one at all. I love Wanda, she is the one good thing that has happen to me. She is the light in my obscure soul, I feel like sometimes she is the one saving me instead" I said
"You are right Natalia I don't know you anymore and I am glad I don't, I was hoping that I wouldn't know who I once knew" He said smiling. I heard someone opening the door. Steve.
"Bucky" Steve said
"Oh hey Steve" He said.
"Do I active alert mode on the Tower Captain Rogers" Jarvis asked.
"No Jarvis, Bucky is not a threat. Turn off your weapon device on him please before you shot him" Steve said.
"Okay, Ms.Romanoff if you need anything else I am here to help!" Jarvis.
"You told him to kill me!" James said surprised.
"I told you to leave my room, but he wouldn't have kill you unless I said the key word" I said.
"Which is?" He said.
"You don't want me to say it, unless you want him to shot you" I said.
"I turned it off" Steve said.
"No, you turned yours off, he is not a threat to YOU, not in my file. Jarvis turn mine off temporarily" I said.
"OFF. do you accept?" He asked again.
"Yes, but if he comes back into my room without my permission shot him" I said.
"Okay" He said.
"Nat" Steve said looking at me.
"Tell your friend not to invade my privacy" I said.
"Bucky out of Nat's room. Now" He said.
"Thank you" I said.
"Jarvis will shot I am not joking" I said.
"Jarvis turn it off" Steve demanded.
"I am afraid I cannot do that. Ms.Romanoff considers him a threat and i must keep it that way for her own personal protection" He told him.
"Nat you can kill him"He said.
"No only if he comes into my room" I said.
"It is too dangerous" he said.
"I don't want him coming into my room. He shouldn't in the first place" I said.
"Nat" He said.
"He cannot come into my room. I can be naked or showering or sleeping and I don't want to be worrying about him coming into my room Steve" I said.
"Fine" He said.
"keep him away from me, and if he touches me again Jarvis won't have to kill him cause ill do it myself" I said.
"He touched you?" He asked confusedly.
"Don't be surprise. I am just warning you" I said.
" Trust me I will make sure he doesn't touch you again" He said.
"As long as he doesn't try to" I began .
"To what?" he asked.
"Nevermind, just make sure he doesn't come near me okay?" I asked.
"Okay" He said.
"We have a deal?" I asked.
"Yeah" He said shaking my hand.
"Good" I said pulling my hand away.
"Hey Nat are you okay? You seem sad" He said looking at me in the eyes and I broke off eye contact.
"I'm fine" I said.
" Look at me"He said.
"stop" I said. He got closer to me and grabbed my face. I looked into his blue eyes, I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me go.
"No, look at me. Break down those walls, I'm not going to hurt you" He said.
" I can't" I said.
"Why?" He asked.
"I've heard that before and it was Because of those people that I build them up in the first place" I said looking away.

Hope you like the chapter. I am so sorry for not updating, I have a lot of homework and other stuff to do and I can't find the time to write or do anything else besides those things at the moment. Will try to update as much as possible

love Bri