Dear reader,
I guess I shouldn't have been snooping. It's my own fault. Ugh I should've just woken Dan up or minded my own business instead of being the curious little cat I always am. Fuck.
Yesterday I read Dan's journal and looked at his sketches. So. It turns out he has a crush on me.
I'm honestly flattered and really happy about it. But something inside me fears that I'm going to fall in love with him back. I'm scared I'm going to forget my wife.
I know I shouldn't be acting like this. Hell I have someone that wants to be with me, and I potentially want to be with them, and I'm worried about my wife who's been dead for three fucking years.
Part of me kinda thinks that I want to tell Dan the truth and tell him that I'm scared, but the other part is telling to keep this relationship strictly friendship and wait until I can finally be with my wife again.
I had a dream about Dan last night again.
I agreed to be with him and we ended up kissing. My head hurts thinking about because the dream was just too damn amazing.
I usually just think to myself that I wish all of this could be easier.
I mean, another thing to think about is what if we get caught? We'd both get executed! Even though sometimes I wish I were dead, it's a different thing if Dan is caught up with me when I do move on to the other side.
Also this could just be some stupid phase, I mean I'm sure I'm the first friend Dan has had since the beginning of the war, so he's probably just craving affection. But also, I'm craving affection as well. Would I be using him? Or would we be using each other? Or do I actually like him too?
This is making my head hurt.
I'm going back tomorrow, let's hope all goes well, thanks for reading.
Philip xx
COMMENT "RAEANN IS THE BEST PHANFIC AUTHOR EVAAAA" IF YOU WANT ME TO UPDATE TOMORROW
hehe I'm a bitch xD
anyways here is le next chapter and I'm really excited with where this story is going :3
nothing else is new, just I feel kinda happy :D
see you lovelies soon! <3
p.s. if you comment what I said you'll get updates sooner ;)
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letters to you (phan) (complete)
FanfictionPhilip Lester is in the military for world war three. No family, his wife died, nothing left to live for. Will his life change around by a chance meeting? (TW: suicidal thoughts)
