5 Seconds of Summer Preferences

One Shot for xLittleGiz (Luke)

*IMPORTANT A/N AT THE END!*

I do NOT do one shots by the way (on here), I am just taking care of a promise I made this lovely girl!:)

ENJOY RENEE!

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"Beauty queen of only eighteen, she had some trouble with herself. He was always there to help her, she always belonged to someone else. I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door; I've had you so many times but somehow I want more. I don't mind spending everyday, out of your corner in the pouring rain; look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to hang a while and she will be loved, she will be loved." (She Will Be Loved-Maroon 5)

It was harmful but releasing, feeling the blood trickle down your wrist into the pearl white sink. Watching that sheet of white turn into a flower stain of red just gave me a feeling of utter zest as my pain was relieved from my cold, small, shaking body.

It was awkward that I wasn't home as well, rather that I was at my boyfriends' house. It's a funny story actually, well not funny, but more of those stories that have no meaning but people place that adjective in front to make it sound like an intriguing story. I probably should have introduced myself better before stating this crazy story.

Well, my name is Renee. I'm dating Luke Hemmings. I'm fifteen and seriously insecure. It started when I was young, when I got bullied and really took into consideration of the how different everyone was. I looked different, I felt different, I was different and it didn't help that I knew. It sucked that I felt there was nothing I could do about my genes except blame the person that gave them to me, but even then it didn't help me much due to the fact that there was nothing she could do either. My life sucked.

That was until I found Luke, and honestly that cliche "he helped me out of my misery" shit actually works-for the most part. He helped me with my insecurity by making me feel like an absolute princess before seeing him taking pictures with other girls who were all over him. Of course that made me feel like shit and go back to my old ways. That is what brought me here, to this situation now.

Luke has been on tour for a while now, and I've been to hell and back without him. I won't go into great detail about it, but it's mainly my family-per usual. Well, now the boys are on break and Luke invited me to dinner on his first night home with his family. Of course, I accepted, although there was this feeling, I'm not sure what it was, but I felt different when I saw Luke. I assumed the time away from him made my confidence evaporate even if he did tell me he loved me everyday via cell phone. Something felt wrong, and I didn't know what to do.

As Luke sat at the table telling his stories about the young, gorgeous girls clinging to him for autographs and pictures, I realized that was what I was afraid of, and it didn't help that I knew that all along and didn't want to bring it the surface of my knowledge. Well, that's what brought me to sitting on the floor of their main bathroom, my razor blade in hand (yes, it is perfectly logical for a girl like me to carry one in her purse as if it might be an emergency), looking at my own blood dripping into their toilet. It's been a good twenty minutes, and I'm sure they're worried that I'm gone for so long, but so far no one has come for me.

By this point, I have mastered the silent cry as hot tears rolled down my cheeks while I waited for my own conscience to tell me to get up or for someone to walk in. I tried my best to crawl my way to the sink, but as soon as my harmed arm hit the floor, I collapsed into a ball, holding the wrist in pain. I took a heavy breath in, lifting myself to sit back up against the wall.

"Renee?!" I heard the deep, familiar voice through the thin, wooden door. I closed my eyes as the remaining tears trapped flowed out. I sniffled before grabbing some toilet paper and holding pressure to the blood so it would stop before it was too late-the door was open and there stood Luke, looking at me with confusion.

"W-what are you doing?" I looked up through tear-glazed eyes before lower my head in shame. I've taught myself to believe I am a shame and that everything I do is a shame to myself and others. I heard his slow walk to reach me, sitting next to me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. He grabbed my wrist, putting slight pressure onto the wounds without looking at them. With his arm closest to my head, he pulled me close to his heart, kissing the top of my head.

"I may not know why you do this to yourself, and I may not know what's troubling you, but I do know you're an absolutely amazing girl and you're perfect to me. I won't sit here and tell you that you have to stop because no matter how many times I say it, you may not be able to. But, I will sit with you and listen to you for as long as you need, anytime you need. I will tell you how much you mean to me. I'll support you and help you through anything so long as you know I am here for you. I want you to know I am not against you, I am with you. Okay?" I nodded my head, not wanting to move from his soothing heartbeat. My free hand held him closer as my mind thanked him, and I could tell he got it because after that, he placed another kiss on my head before helping me stand up.

He placed his hand over mine as he flushed my blood down the drain and went to the sink to wash my wrist together. He helped me bandage the wounds without words, just smiles that let me know he cares. He looked into my eyes before giving me a tiny smile. "I love you Luke. Thank you." I whispered, leaning in for a kiss. "I love you too."

We went back to the table together, but of course I was wearing short sleeves. "Dear!" Liz's voice startled me out of my shoes. "What happened?" She pointed to my white gauze with a worried look. "She fell on some water that was on the floor from my shower and hit her wrist against the edge of the counter. I got it though." I smiled and nodded, taking my seat next to Luke and finishing my meal with people that made me feel more worthy than ever.

*6 MONTHS LATER*

So, here I am, six months later on my birthday. I've been six months clean, ever since that day. It was hard, I must admit. Luke helped me every step of the way, and if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here. He's the only one who knows, and he's been super caring, showing up at my door whenever I'm upset with movies (of course when he's not on tour), texting and calling me everyday to tell me how much I mean to him and how much he loves me (even when he's on tour), and making sure to help me in any way he can.

Finally, I can feel loved and capable of anything.

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YAY, I'VE FINALLY FINISHED! Sorry this is so late, I've been super busy, but I've finally gotten it done, and it's actually pretty good! ANYWAY THOUGH, I think you all should go follow this amazing girl @xLittleGiz because SHE HAS A STORY CALLED 'Not What You Think' AND IT'S SOSOSOSO GOOD! (Cover credits to me!) SO PLEASE DO ME A FAVOUR AND FOLLOW HER! She's super-duper sweet:)

Again-I DO NOT DO IMAGINES ON HERE, THIS IS JUST A SPECIAL ONE!

(I think I'm done with imagines on here???)

 Okay, please follow;

my twitter; @lushylovato,

my tumblr; @lushylovato

my quotev; @5SOSATL! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE!

*IMPORTANT! I AM NOT TAKING REQUESTS RIGHT NOW! STATED IN THE TITLE AND DESCRIPTION, I AM NOT TAKING REQUESTS AT THE MOMENT! SORRY BABES! I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THEY ARE BACK UP, BUT FOR NOW, PLEASE. DO. NOT. REQUEST. PLEASE! I AM SORRY! I LOVE YOU ALL!*

ILYSMMMMMM! XXOO,

Lys<3