Why Kaidan is the Best Love Interest in Mass Effect

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya - Quarian Engineer

AKA Tali'Zorah vas Neema, AKA Tali'Zorah vas Normandy

Aside from having more aliases than the average narcissistic author and their pseudonyms, Tali doesn't get much attention in ME1. When you first meet her, she's portrayed as a sexy alien race when the turian accosting her runs his hand down his arm and she slaps him away.

Later, she reveals she has information that can help you catch the bad guy... or at least convince the Council Saren IS a bad guy. Back on the Normandy she talks a LOT. At first, finding out her history and the war between her people and their "accidental" creation of a massive AI race of sentient machines is interesting.

Unfortunately, Tali has spent so much of her life seeing the geth as a dangerous enemy that needs killing, she doesn't see how the quarians reaction to their own creation are solely responsible for their ultimate downfall.

There is no option to argue this with her. She just asserts that they killed her people (because the quarians tried to kill them first), then justifies that action by pointing to the geth who are helping Saren and are now killing humans. Right, yeah okay, whatever.

As for romance, that's not allowed in ME1. Devs only made the two humans and the asari available for romance. No idea why... budget limitations? Lack of character development? Assumptions that the only alien romance gamers would be interested in was Liara? As I said before, who knows?

In ME2, EA/Bioware found out that a LOT of people liked aliens and were very upset that neither Garrus or Tali were available in ME1 as a romance option.

As romance options go, Tali isn't horrible. Tali is however, very, very young. I'm not certain how old she is in ME1, but based on dialogue she isn't much over 18. With Shepard being 30 at the beginning of ME1, that's a pretty big age difference. Tali is just becoming an adult while on her pilgrimage in 2183, while Shepard is 30 which if Tali is 18, is a 12-year age difference.

Now many people don't have a problem with that, but considering the fact that devs assume males are playing Mass Effect, then putting an older man with a younger woman is nothing short of perpetuating societal acceptance. Combine that with the fact that Tali isn't available as an option for a female Shepard... well, societal bs like that doesn't belong in a game. Culture is ALWAYS influential in acceptable societal norms, and continuing to portray this double standard in games, movies and stories is not only lazy, but irresponsible.

Anywho, back to romance. I romanced Tali once as Bro-Shep just to see what all the fuss was about. And I couldn't see it. Sure it was cute and fluffy when she fawns all over you and gets real shy when she compliments you and confesses how much she really, really likes you. But then later she talks about the mission and how she doesn't want to negatively impact the mission by getting involved with you. Which was touching in a way, but look here lady, we could die and I want someone to hold when I'm burning in fire, and you don't want to jeopardize the mission?

Uh... okay then. If that's what you want, you're right. You could die just from being with me and if you're worried about it now, what are you going to be like after? Are you still going to talk about how sick you got by taking off your mask to be with me? If so, I don't need that kind of guilt. I've got enough guilt and blame being flung at me from every corner of the galaxy, including my own people. If I wanted that I would've kept Ashley around. Ahem. (By the way, she really does tell you that being with you made her sick. Uh, thanks? Then appends that by saying it was 'totally worth it.')

Right. I'm sure you went back to your people and told them how fun it was that the guy you slept with who isn't a quarian made you sick for a month. Sure, good times.

Anyway, now we're at ME3 and what's Tali doing? Right, defending her people. Against the geth. Again. So making friends with Legion back in ME2 meant nothing to you? You're going to destroy an entire species because your people are so self-righteous and stupid you won't or can't stand up to them? Sorry, but your moral compass is very broken. You know what you're doing is wrong and all you can do is stand there and tell me you feel like a fraud? Well, guess what? You are.

Sorry, but Tali's inability to have any affect or influence with her own people, even though she's been declared their TOP geth expert just doesn't work for me. So yeah, Tali. You might be cute and sweet and all as an LI, but you have no spine, no power and no conviction in your own beliefs or personal power. I can't support that and I don't support your choice or your people.

In my ME3 version of the Tali romance, I hooked up with Kaidan on the Citadel before picking up Tali. Apparently, those kinds of rumours travel faster than the broken comm buoys would have you believe and she knows all about it before you tell her. Huh... continuity error? Shouldn't I have told her about it instead of having her confront me? Well sure, THAT would make sense based on EVERYTHING you're being told about the Reapers destroying everything... but nope, she knows before she comes to see you in your cabin.

Is she upset by it? Uh... well, not really. She totally understands and says that it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway seeing how she's always with her people and you're always with the Alliance. So you didn't really love me that much then? All those things you said in ME2 was what? Lies? Teenage crush? Fine, whatever.

So not only is Tali not that broken up over your break-up, she then turns around and starts flirting with Garrus. In the moments before the final mission, you find her in the forward batteries with his mandible caught in her helmet. Nice. So much for undying love Tali. Oh wait, you're just using him for his body. Gotcha. And 'he's okay with that.' Alrighty then. Have fun.