Beautiful When You Don't Try (Camren)

Chapter 15

As Lauren reclined back in her seat, putting the ball in Alejandro's court, she saw a glint of something in his eyes. He was debating his emotions. She had just impressed him but he also wanted to take her up on her offer. He believed Camila would be upset if he was to go as personal as he was wanting to, but also believed that Lauren would help sooth her worries, wanting this openness as much as he did. Lauren was showing initiative and leaving herself very vulnerable for the benefit of their relationship. He wasn't blind. He saw that. And it impressed him.

He dropped his eyes to his lap, crossed his legs, and picked at his pant leg. "How personal are we talking about getting?" Camila just sat there, unable to think of anything to do. She didn't want Lauren to have to do this, but at the same time, knew she really needed to. Sinu slowly shifted her restrained gaze between her husband, Lauren, and her hand on the table, waiting for the tension to find its peak.

"However personal it takes." Lauren answered honestly.

Without lifting his eyes from his fidgeting hand he began. "I could easily start where almost anyone would expect me to, with high school and the absolute hell you put my daughter through. With the nights she spent upstairs crying herself to sleep, feeling like she was worthless, unworthy of acceptance. With the times I had to watch her shamefully try and explain why she never wanted to have a birthday party, citing the cliché of it all instead of admitting she simply didn't have any friends because of your constant humiliation of her. I could start with that, but I wont." He looked up and met Lauren's eyes. She held his stare and accepted the blame and the guilt that he wanted to make sure she felt. It didn't matter what Lauren did now, she could never take back her actions, and he wanted her to remember that.

She swallowed the burning feeling in her throat. "Then where would you like to begin?" She wasn't going to back down to this.

"I would like to continue on the topic of Adrianne." Camila's jaw clinched. As it did, the diva realized that is probably why her father chose the topic. "How long were you two together?"

"Three years."

"That's a long time. You must have really loved her." He was definitely pushing to strike that nerve.

"Yes." Lauren's answers were direct and without delay.

"Do you still love her?"

"Yes. She is a very special person and has helped me a great deal not only in a professional capacity, but in my personal life as well. I will always love her. However, I am not in love with her. I haven't been for a while."

"Because she's not Camila?" He asked mockingly. Lauren nodded. "But you knew that was part of your attraction to her, and that it was the cause of you two separating?" She nodded again. "So if you knew that she wasn't what you wanted, did you not feel like you were using her?"

The raven haired woman sighed but gave no further pause. "At first and at the end, yes. There was a time in the middle when I was in love with her for being her. If we hadn't reached that point, our relationship would have ended much sooner."

"By you or by her?"

"By me." When she first started dating the taller brunette, it was out of general curiosity and infatuation with how much she reminded her of Camila. Once the newness wore off, Lauren began pulling away and distancing herself from Adrianne, trying to find a way to end it, knowing that she didn't share the brunette's love. But after one tipsy night, walls were let down by both women and true personalities seeped through and Lauren finally saw Adrianne for who she was, not the similarities, but a good natured, caring, thoughtful, intelligent woman who challenged her in ways no one else ever had, a woman that allowed her to be her for the first time. Their relationship almost seemed to be brand new after that.