My grandmother (love is patient sequel)

13

The next thing I knew I'd fallen asleep crying on the floor. The only reason I was now awake what that there were repetitive loud knocks on the door. I walked towards the window, already dark. How long had I been asleep? Peering out the window I saw a figure but not much. The knocking continued. Then they were shouting.

"TOMMY? TOMMY LET ME IN!"

Hafi?

I crept over to the door and opened it a crack.

"Oh thank god. I thought I was going to freeze out there."

Hafi.

"Why were you kno-"

"I didn't think to take my keys earlier. I texted you but there was no reply."

"Oh yeah. I fell asleep."

"Did you sleep ok last night?"

"Yeah."

"Then why on earth did you manage to sleep that much?"

"Stress I guess."

She immediately pulled me into a tight hug. The way a mother would. She deserved to be a mother so much.

"What were you stressed about?"

"Gus."

"Well yeah. But what particularly?"

This woman can read me like a book.

"Well wondering if he'll be ok..."

"He will."

She said he'd be fine sharply and without emotion as if it was a lie she'd been forced to pretend to believe. My guess is that she's as worried, probably more, than I am. I decided I would ask anymore. She could tell me if she wanted.

We stood there quietly for a moment.

"Well. I don't really feel like cooking and Gus was going to tonight anyway. Do you want to get a takeaway?"

"I don't really feel hungry Hafi."

"But you must eat. Pizza or Chinese."

I knew she wouldn't let me win so I gave in immediately.

"Pizza I guess."

"Ok. Go take a shower and put on your pyjamas then you'll be done when it's here."

"Ok."

We shared a tight hug and a smile. As I walked away, I heard her sigh, possibly a few tears. I decided to just listen for a moment. She didn't know I was there.

"Why do bad things always happen in this house? It's like a curse or something. This one was my fault too. I wasn't looking where I was going and I dropped that tea towel on the floor. It's all my fault."

I can't leave her like this.

"It's not your fault Hafi. He slipped by accident."

"I thought you were going to have a shower?"

"I don't want you to have to be alone at a time like this."

I walked over to her, she was sitting on a dining chair as if she was tired from standing up at the hospital. I wrapped my arms around her as best as I could whilst she cried into my shoulder.

"You're very mature for your age."

"I learn from you."

She tightened her grip and we said nothing for a while. Eventually I managed to pull away enough to look at her face.

"I know what'll cheer you up a bit. Stay right here."

She nodded, still crying, and turned to the table where she struggled to keep herself from collapsing into a heap on it. She didn't want to be alone. I raced upstairs as fast as I could and into my bedroom. The books.

I knew exactly where they were and grabbed them before racing back downstairs to see her still crying. I slowly walked towards her and sat on my knees on the chair next to her so I could be a bit higher. I gently placed the books on the table in front of her. She looked up at me with a glint of hope in her now glossy eyes.

"The books?"

"Yeah."

I tried to gently pull the rubber band that was binding the books together. It immediately snapped as it was so old. Next to me, I felt Hafi flinch just a tiny bit.

"It didn't matter." I reassured her.

As I began to open the first book she grabbed my free hand and held it tight. Each page held three Polaroid photos. The first picture was, I believe, my grandad next to a Christmas tree. His face was the same, and his hair. You could tell she was taking it from the look in his eyes. That recurring look of love and happiness. He was standing next to a Christmas tree with a Santa hat and a festive jumper on. The next picture was a failed selfie where you could see both of them together. At least I thought that was them.

"Is that?"

"Your grandparents. Yes." A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Hafi if this is sad we can sto-"

"No. I don't want to stop. I just miss them. I miss how things used to be."

I brought myself closer to her.

"Did she ever know... like... about me?"

"She never met you but, god, she was so happy when she found out she was going to be a grandma. She was so ill but she still danced around and didn't stop smiling for days."

"Because of-"

"Because of you. Yes. Even before you were born, you made people so happy."

"But I'm just me."

"And that's why we love you."

"Surely she was excited by her expectations more than anything though."

"Well if she never met you in real life then how would she do anything else?"

"But then how do I know she wouldn't be disappointed in me? That I'm not what she expected?"

She looked at me for a while with a pained expression on her face again.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because-"

"I don't think I want an answer. Tommy, you may not have been what she was expecting but I know,"

She paused, took a deep breath. Another tear.

"I know she's looking down on us right now. And I know that she is proud of you. You are her grandson."

"Well she's getting another one soon. She'll probably be more proud of that one."

"No. Tommy, she loves different people in different ways. She'll always love you. She'll love your new sibling. She loves me. She loves Ca- your mother. Your father too. And Gus. She loves every one of us. That's what she was like."

We both looked down, unsure of what to say next.

"Should we keep looking at the photos?"

"Yeah."