Revolutionary Hearts

Revolutionary Hearts: Part Ten

July 2, 1780

It's been almost a month since Daniel was taken. In all this time, I have been unable to make myself write. My thoughts have been far too painful to express through either written or spoken word. Elizabeth tries to talk to me. She says talking will help, but I'm not sure what I can say.

This morning, Mother came by in the hopes that I would speak with her. That I would come home, as I have yet to do so...

I couldn't even look her in the eye as she pleaded with me, and I never spoke. After an hour or so, she gave up and, with a seemingly heavy heart, left me where I was.

It's almost dark now, and I have yet to move from that spot. I still sit at the old, unpolished table in Elizabeth's kitchen. I must have spent hours simply staring at nothing, hardly acknowledging when my dear friend said anything to me.

She has clearly tired of my silence, because a few moments ago Elizabeth angrily threw you down before me, taking great effort to be more gentle with the quill and ink well.  

If for no other reason than to appease her, I grabbed you and reluctantly turned to a fresh page. The scrape of my quill against your parchment is all that fills the silence, but Elizabeth is still here watching me. Just watching. 

I think she fears I've gone mad. Who knows? Perhaps I have...

Her steady glare was becoming uncomfortable, so I find myself highly grateful for the knock on the front door just now.

"Who on Earth...?" Elizabeth asks. "Roger?"

Roger, Elizabeth's husband, walked in from the adjacent family room. He's almost twenty years older than Elizabeth, well into his forties, and his dark eyes are tired as they skim over me before settling on his wife. "What?" 

"The door..." she says. "Were you expecting someone?" 

Roger straightens, suddenly becoming more alert. "No. I wasn't." He grabs a gun that leans against a china cabinet in the corner of the room.  With a pang, I am reminded of Father grabbing a gun the morning Daniel arrived on my own doorstep...

I follow the Morgans into the parlour, my sense of deja vu only intensifying as Roger opens the door. A young soldier in a ragged blue uniform stands outside, his hands raised and palms turned upwards in a gesture of peace.

Or at least, that's what I thought at first. Now I see that he is holding two small envelopes. He addresses Elizabeth when he says, "Miss Tara James?" 

Both the Morgans turn to me. I must lower my quill... 

 ......

July 2, 1780 (continued)

I cannot think to evaluate what has come to pass. I must simply write it as it happened.  

The soldier turned his eyes on me, holding the envelopes out in my direction. "I was told I could find you here. I come with word from Major General Marquis de Lafayette."

Confused, I hesitated to grab the letters from him. "That name doesn't mean anything to me..."

He nodded. "He said it wouldn't. But he told me to say that you share an acquaintance."

We share an acquaintance? I thought. And then it hit me. Marquis de Lafayette? A French soldier who would know me? It had to be the same man who'd taken Daniel away... 

I lunged for the envelopes like a beast upon its prey. The soldier backed away from me, disturbed by my sudden aggression and the sharp, guttural cry that escaped my lips. But he found his nerve before I was able to rip open the first envelope, and with an astonishing amount of courage, he managed to take both letters back from me. Turning them over, he showed that one was sealed in black, and the other red. 

Cautiously handing me the red one, he said, "The Major General requests that you read this one first."

Suddenly reluctant, newly afraid of what might be contained within it,  I  cautiously broke the envelope's seal.

And the treacherous letter read thus:

Tara Lee James,

I am certain you hardly count me as a friend, or even as a respectable human being. If you remember me at all, I'm sure you despise me, for I have taken something very special away from you. It is because of that - because of the young Brit newly in my charge - that I write to you. If it were at all possible that I delivered this message in person, I swear to you that it would be done. But due to pressing issues calling me back to France, I must play the coward and speak with no fear of your rebuttal. 

As I said to you before, upon my word as a gentleman, Private Daniel Connor was not harmed without trial. However, I must regretfully inform you that a trial was held, and a verdict was passed. Connor was found guilty of multiple crimes, the natures of which I am not at liberty to disclose, and he is to be made an example of. The date and location of his execution have not been set at this time, so I cannot tell you when or where the terrible deed is to be done. 

I know it will mean nothing to you, but I feel I must tell you that I was for liberating this man. I stood on the grounds of using his skill and training for the betterment of our own army, but my pleas on Connor's behalf were ignored by those who ultimately decided his fate.  

In the short time that I have been his warden, I have come to know, respect, and even like Connor, and I loathe the idea of his demise. However, from what he has told me, I understand that your pain shall vastly outweigh my own. There are not words enough to express my remorse for your suffering.

I can only hope you will take some comfort in the letter that accompanies the one you now read. I have allowed Daniel to write to you, and I pray his words will ease your tribulations in a way my own cannot. 

I apologize for the part I played in this. 

My sympathies are forever yours,

Marquis de Lafayette

The letter fell to the floor, and Roger was forced to grab me so I would not do the same. With trembling hands, I reached for the second letter, though I was too blinded by tears to read it. 

It's been hours, and I have yet to find it within myself to look at the last words my love has left for me. I've written this all in an effort to calm myself, to steady my hands and my heart just long enough to face Daniel's final goodbye.

Knowing I'll never truly be ready for this, I have just broken the black seal...