Otayuri - Loss

12.

"so as you know, your father and I met because of I've skating. And the grand prix before we met was my worst one, I got 6th and my pet died. On times like those, when things like that happen, those are times you'd self harm right?"
I nodded while looking away
"Yurio... that's exactly what I did"
I looked at him, in surprise.  He pulled up his sleeve and there were shown many scars as well. "Now if It weren't for your father, I wouldn't be here anymore. But let's just start at the beginning. I was being bullied because of my weight and because I was gay. Back then it was a horrible thing to be. All those things made me do what I did. And one day it got so bad, that I took a bunch of pills and prayed not to wake up. But I did. That was when I was 22. While it started about 10 years before that. These aren't all my scars Yurio. But my point is, I never told anyone in all those years. And then I.. Did that. The shock my parents were in when they heard it was horrible because they didn't know if I was going to make it. But I did. Two years later I wasn't completely better,  but I was doing okay. Then after the fail, I relapsed. And didn't tell my parents since they couldn't help me anyway.  I was lost for a whole year, ate my sadness away and went home. When I skated your father's routine and it went viral, your father saw It and flew all the way to Japan. And he said he wanted to coach me. You know that story right?"
my dad smiled through his many tears and my father turned his face towards his own. "it's okay yuuri. We can continue this another time. I don't like seeing you cry." He whispered
"No" my dad answered. "Just give me a short break. I'll be right back"

After ten minutes he came back, still wiping tears.
"Okay. So it was when I won silver and we were in a weird situation when we were kind of engaged, your father asked me about my scars. And that's when I told him everything. Of course he wasn't sure how to help me, but he did everything he could to make me feel better. I've always been living with the thought that people don't like me, that I'm not good enough, those things. But It seems you are like that right now as well. And I don't want that to happen to you." The tears were back. I just sat there in silence. I knew my dad used to have a hard time believing I  himself. But I didn't know he would've tried to kill himself. My father was sitting in the corner silently. I noticed it.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
My dad turned around and saw my father sitting there, hiding his face. "Viktor! I'm sorry... I should have asked  if you were okay.."
"I'm fine"
"Alright... sorry I made you go through that situation with me again"
"Yuuri don't apologise for something that happened so long ago."
"Right.."
I closed my eyes. Damn.  Everything seems to be going wrong right now. We talked a bit more about everything that I did and then we went to sleep.

Today my father and I are going home while my dad will stay here. I waved one last time and then walked away. I texted otabek I was coming home and that I'll be back this evening. We got on the plane and flew home. It was an awkward,  silent flight. We both didn't say a word until my father handed me a note.
"These are the times your dad can Skype. Because of the time difference it took a while to figure it out but here it is. If you want to, that is."
"Yeah, thanks. " he handed me the paper and I put it in my bag.
"so, how's otabek?" He obviously tried to start a conversation and I gave in. "He's okay. I haven't talked to him that much the last few days because I was here. But he's okay. "
"Good."

When we got back home I packed my bag for school tomorrow and went to bed.

At school otabek was acting weird. Mila did the same. I asked what was going on but they didn't respond. But I got mad once I heard the two whispering down the hallway.
"What the fuck are you doing? Why are you two being like this all the time?"
"Yurio... We need to talk.." otabek said.
"Otabek are you sure?" Mila
whispered
"Shh"
Otabek took me to a silent corner. "Yurio... We should break up."

I'm getting real good with cliffhangers right?
Oops
So yeah I'm back from England :)))