it still claws at the back of my mind like a fresh cut that won't ever heal. sometimes i try to think about how it's probably better that we fell apart, but what if i'm wrong? what if this was something worth fighting for and we didn't? and i know i need to stop overthinking these things because it's over and done with and i know i'm going to drive myself insane, all while jeopardizing the few good things i have right now. but truth is you keep wandering into my head and i don't know if it's because i miss you or if it's because that stupid city and colour song you said reminded you of us keeps playing on my spotify or if it's because i have this sinking feeling that your poems aren't about me but i still want them to be and i know that's unfair i know i'm being unfair but this is my third time crying in my bathroom within 32 hours. long story short i can't stop thinking about what would've happened if things were different and the fact that i can never fix it now and that single fact has been destroying the ease in my mind and this isn't really a poem and i dont think it ever will be because i don't know how to make it flow right but i know the first poem i wrote on here said you felt like home and i keep asking myself if that would still be true.
