theres that party trick that everyone knows
where you take the table cloth and swiftly tug it off the table but all the plates and cups and cutlery stay.
i feel like i am preforming this trick for the 100th time.
(but the first with real glass)
i am grasping at the cloth with sweaty palms wondering if it will all shatter or if i'll get lucky when im pulling it up from under the fine china.
i am dragging it slowly
until eventually
i whip it off.
and my demise begins
because everything clatters to the ground, sending sparkling shards of porcelain and glass across the room.
............................................................................................
i dont know what to do anymore. this is a balancing act and if one minuscule detail goes wrong all we do is shatter. i am scared.
