Chasing Arizona

Any Ol' Barstool

lindsle for all the support, comments and votes! You're the best. 

Hope y'all enjoy! 

XxKay

Arizona

It seemed I was the queen of impulsive, bad ideas. 

The mapped out route on my phone kept screaming at me that it would be a four and a half hour drive to the Pecan Valley, Texas. It didn't factor in pit stops for bathroom breaks and gas or traffic. However, the little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that I should go for it, find out the truth. Pecan Valley was where my biological father Caine Hailey lived. I had wanted to find him since the moment our mother had revealed in her letters that Gavin wasn't our father. Texas and Tennessee seemed content to live happy, married lives and I didn't blame them, but my gut kept telling me that I had to find out the truth about him. I hoped that finding him would create some kind of peace in my life. 

The idea of finding him had hit me while I was sitting at Chubby's on Thursday night, or what us locals knew as karaoke night. I'd been sipping a Crown and Coke while trying to drown out someone belting  out Delta Dawn, I wasn't certain why it occurred to me that I had to go find him. By the end of the song, I had googled his name and come up with 605,000 results. What was the likelihood that the nearly fifty-five year old man was a fashion designer? Pretty thin. After combing through the first dozen pages or so, I had settled for hunting down the owner of the fine establishment I visited every night. 

Dax was ex-military, but that didn't have anything to do with why I needed him. His brother owned a private investigation company and Dex (twins Daxton and Dexter) owed me a favor. It was likely I wouldn't hear from him for a few weeks since he stayed hidden away when he wasn't on a case, but I knew I'd get answers. And indeed I had... after two and a half months that is, but it still counted in Dex's eyes. 

Now I was headed toward Pecan Valley, unsure of how well this complete stranger would take his long estranged daughter just popping into his life after nearly three decades. There was only one way to find out. 

* 

"Do you want a drink, Ari?" Even before I answered, he'd already shoved the opened flask under my nose. The scent of tequila burned in the back of my throat and as much as I yearned to say no, it took one look out into the open field of mourners for me to say yes. I took a long swig off the flask, enjoying the rush it gave me as I swallowed. Silently we sat together in tense silence, passing the container back and forth as we watch the mob of sullenly dressed folks weave around down below. We were close enough to hear the soft lyrics from a haunting melody play and I swore I could hear the lamentations coming from one of the women among the gathering. 

It was Xane's mother Lana most likely. Allowing the world to hear her grief at the loss of her only child. The knot in my stomach tightened unbearably as the sound intensified across the field. My eyes burned with the urge to cry and instead, I demanded another pull from the silver thermos -- the last of it. Gage grumbled lowly but didn't argue when I asked him to retrieve the half full bottle I knew he kept in his backseat, it was likely cheap vodka but it would suffice for the time being. I knew it wasn't necessary from the way the words slipped off my tongue but I craved it. When he returned, he leaned back against the tree and allowed me to sip from the new stash at my leisure. I'd have a hell of a hangover tomorrow but didn't let that stop me as I chugged the liquid down bit by bit. 

"He was on the way to pick you up." The declaration didn't miss it's mark and I wasn't sure if it was an accusation or a simple statement. I stayed quiet, knowing there was more to his assertion. I didn't even have to look at him to know that his blond brow was furrowed and that he was gnawing on his bottom lip hard enough to make it bleed. Gage and I were only friends through Xane in the first place and now that he was gone, I knew he'd likely never stick around this dumpy town. He'd only stayed to be around Xane and deep down I knew it was because Gage loved Xane more than I ever could have. I wasn't sure it was an entirely platonic love but I didn't care, it was why we were here, why we were bound. Our adoration for Xane. 

"He was drunk, he'd gotten into a fight with Xander about the stash he'd found in their bedroom. He was flipping tables and throwing shit, so pissed off that he was talking about whopping Xander's ass and calling the cops. But as soon as you called it was like his switch had flipped, he was calm and -- the only thing he wanted was to see you and that was why he was coming to get you no matter what anyone said. I tried to take the keys, Arizona, but he wasn't listening. Not to me, Xander, hell he wouldn't have listened to you." Gage grew quiet for a while, surely taking in the sight of the crowd dispersing to cars and the casket being lowered into the ground. 

We both should've been down there today though I knew I couldn't handle it. Seeing his mother would've been the end of it for me. And Gage? He would've had to explain why they were playing hooky for a week to spend time at lake Bluebonnet and why Xane had access to the keys after having so much to drink. We'd also have to face the fact that Xane, that stupid, beautiful idiot had killed an expectant father and loving husband because he'd been drinking and driving. The man, from what we'd been told, had been on his way to pick up a special gift for his wife and we knew that Gage had been on his way to see me, the "love of his life". I didn't buy this part to be true, but I accepted it all the same, just as I believed that love killed those who fell for the concept of it. 

And with that thought, I searched out the bottle again, hoping for the sweet oblivion it provided.