Chasing Arizona

Can I Be Him

Arizona 

The proclaimed "most wonderful time of the year" actually turned out to be just that for the first time in as many years back as I could remember. My entire family came down, including all of the newest, smallest members of our mixed clan and we'd all packed between Caine and Rhett's homes respectively. Texas and Tennessee had taken the spare rooms in Caine's, Texas and her bunch spilling into my bedroom and Tennessee and hers into the guest room I'd only seen used as a storage until that week. Mama and Daddy, August, October and Dece all packed into the three remaining homes at Rhett's, along with me and him who shared his master bedroom. I'd stayed plenty of nights with Rhett before so it was definitely something that took some getting used to. Waking up to the sound of multiple people mulling around before the sun was even up, fussing around in the kitchen that all of my sisters had claimed as theirs the moment Rhett had told them to make themselves at home. 

It turned out to be a bad idea when I suggested that we all, including Susanna and Henry Parker, spend the night at Rhett's so we could have one massive Christmas morning celebration. Nearly twenty-five people crammed into a four bedroom, kids coming out of the wood works almost. We'd placed them in the farthest room from the living area and placed a state of the art monitor with a camera in there in order to make sure no one got up and accidentally discovered that we were all Santa's Helpers. Currently the men were hauling in mass amounts of gifts from various vehicles, laughing about ridiculous gifts they'd been given over the years or bonding over fishing and hunting techniques and football. Meanwhile, the overwhelming amount of women were trying to fill stockings and get rid of the pile of cookies we'd allowed the kids to make earlier. 

"Ari, do you want a glass of egg nogg? I think papa spiked it with some of that stuff he brought from home." August asked softly, sliding a warm glass my way before I could even answer. It was almost instinct to respond with a yes, but I knew that if I had one, I wouldn't stop. And this was a Christmas I actually wanted to remember. 

"No, I'm good." I said instead as I continued to fill the stocking for Sunday to the brim with cute little trinkets and small candies I knew she would enjoy. Too lost in my own process, I didn't notice that all eyes had suddenly turned to me. 

"What?" My head jerked up at the sound of Tennessee's surprised question. Discomfort tightened in my gut and I wondered how long they'd been aware of my problem before it had become apparent to me. And that's when it occurred to me that this was the first Christmas Eve that wasn't a blur of a memory since I was young. My heart hurt with that knowledge, but I was trying to change that. I didn't want to be the kind of woman who lived so far in the bottle that ever single moment of her life was a story told by others. 

"I've been sober for fifteen weeks and three days. Caine and Rhett have been helping me -" before I could finish, arms were around my body in seconds and Aunt Rose was sniffling loudly as she quietly thanked God. My sisters were in various degrees of surprise, but all held one similar emotion in their eyes: pride. 

For the first time in forever, my family was proud of me and as I closed my eyes, I couldn't help but thank God, too.

Rhett

Christmas morning dawned early -- earlier than they days on a ranch with five children running wild, screaming excitedly about Santa's late night visit. Sleepily the adults roused, all bleary eyed but glad to be together, even if they'd had to sleep on pallets in the living room during the night. My parents were the first to emerge from their room, smiles on their faces as they watched Sunday and Anna skip through the house hand in hand, next came Dane and Rose, and finally Caine. 

Still in our PJs, the ladies made work of passing out gifts as we men elected one official to make coffee and another to start a fire. I was voted to start a fire, seeing as it was my house and Stetson was commanded to make coffee. We each dutifully went about our tasks, hurrying so we didn't miss the excitement. From the squeals going on behind me, I didn't want to miss much. It took a while seeing as the five little ones got plenty of gift. When the kids cleared out, going to their room to play, or fall back asleep as it seemed Dallas was set on doing, it was time for the grown ups to pass out their presents. 

Looking at her out of the corner of my eye, I took in ever bit of her beauty. She was smiling widely as one of her sisters opened a gift from their husband, squealing in delight at the brand new kitchen aid mix was revealed. Her dark hair was up in a messy bun where strands kept falling in her face, brushing against her sun kissed skin. Her eyes were bright with awareness and joy. My heart sped up as she threw her head back with laughter, stomach tightening when she fumbled with the first of her gifts. 

 As time grew closer for Arizona to open the gift I got for her, I became anxious. what would she say?