i'm // not // okay ☼ f.i. + g.w.

V

it's okay baby, i got you

i slid the cold blade across my skin. the pale flesh newly dented where the knife had been. i closed my eyes and waited.

you'll be okay now

i took a breath opening my eyes too look down at the blood popping to the surface, i bit my lip a placed a finger in the warm liquid. it was dark and thick, just like i remembered.

there is no need to worry

i picked up the silver blade and placed it a few centimeters under the first cut. i pushed down and dragged it across my wrist. the sound of the skin tearing rang through my ears like a symphony.

i will take care of you

i let out a breath as the blood dripped down my hand and onto the white tile floor. the light and dark contrast matching the aesthetic i always longed for.

i'm here

i leaned my head back against the white door of the bathroom. the air around me was hot and humid and it made my head spin.

don't worry

i dragged the blade across my skin again and again until all that was left was a blood stained knife and two red hands.

i love you

the blood kept pouring as tears fell out of my eyes and rolled over my flushed cheeks. "you said you would always be there." my voice was breaking as the pounding of my heart grew louder.

it's going to get better

"why did you leave me?" i sucked in a deep gasp of air as the pool of blood around me continued to grow. "you promised you would always be there."

it's going to get easier

it slowly started to become harder to breathe, the room was spinning and i couldn't keep my head up. "i need you." i twisted the corner of my shirt in my hand and squeezed it tightly.

you'll get through this

"i love you gerard." i screamed my chin falling against my chest uncontrollably. the blood was drying, getting thick and sticky. my eyes slowly drifted shut and all i saw was darkness.

it's okay baby, i got you