The Story So Far

33. Trying for a Better Beginning

I idled the car outside the house, taking in a lungful of air. I wiped a hand against my swollen eyes, as if it would help. I checked my reflection in the rear view mirror, dabbing concealer around the dark and swollen rims around my eyes.

I had to look presentable, fierce, and with no doubt, unafraid. But, I was none of those. I swiped on another layer of light make up, puckering up and lips and ruffling up my hair. “It’s just your family, you idiot,” I murmured to myself, “Oh, and now you’re talking to yourself. How much more helpless can you be?”

I rolled my eyes at my own foolishness, grabbing my things and heading out of my car. As I approached the door, I rapped at it twice before it sprang out and the familiar glow of home greeted me.

Mom came face to face with me, her face lighting up with shock. But then, she covered up her mouth and tears started forming around the brim of her eyes. I cracked a smile, absorbing my mom’s features, not knowing until now how much I missed her, “Hi, Mom.”

“Oh, darling,” she breathed out, taking me into a big embrace. I let my bags fall on the floor, burying my face on the crook of my Mom’s neck, pressing myself as close to her as possible. She held me at arm’s length, her eyes simmered in love, “Oh, honey, I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too, Mom,” I replied, silent tears falling down my face. Seriously, Allie, do you still have any water in your system? I mentally rolled my eyes at my subconscious mind, ignoring what it had to say.

Mom let me enter, holding out the door for me as I dragged my bag in. The house—my home, it was so comforting to be here. Everything seemed to be at ease, my raising heart slowed down its pace as I set foot in the threshold, a calming sensation overwhelming me.

Mom smiled as she eyes me eyeing the house, “Go get changed upstairs, honey, I know you’re tired.”

I nodded, heading upstairs and changing into something more comfortable than the skin tight dress I wore at the bar.

A pursed my lips, the bar. The thought that a few hours ago, I was just having an innocent night with Travis just made me push myself to the brink of tears. Everything we had, gone. And it was all my fault for kissing Dmitri right on the lips. God forbid that lips.

I should have listened to Dmitri and Amy’s warnings, I should not have gotten close to him because all he brought was trouble. But I was as much to blame as he was, because either way, I didn’t do anything to push him away. I let him kiss me.

Blood roared in my ears as I started to hyperventilate, feeling myself break down into tears again. I shook my head, using my palms to wipe away the tears that kept coming. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, slapping myself twice and blinking away tears.

“Dinner’s ready!” I heard Mom yell from downstairs.

I sighed, “Yeah, coming.”

I dragged myself downstairs, surprised to see that Kelly and Dad were now sitting with us on the dining table. I took in my sister’s figure. Her hair was a dark red, freckles sprinkled around her nose, her eyes were a mixture of green and grey like my dad’s, her cheeks forming up dimples every time she smiled back at Dad.

The both of them seemed to be oblivious to the fact that I had just entered the room. Dad’s familiar smile was etched onto his face, ruffling up Kelly’s hair like it was something normal they did—which I would think is normal because they lived together for a while. Lincent’s eyes looked up at me, his face lighting up and beaming up at me, “Allie!” He bounced up from his sit, running on his chubby legs to meet me. Kelly and Dad stopped mid sentence, looking up as Linc blurted out my name.

I took Linc up in my arms, rubbing his nose against mine, “You miss me, Linc?”

He nodded his small head, his brown curls bobbing up and down. His auburn eyes that looked exactly like mine looked back at me with so much ease, his chubby arms looping around my neck, “Where’ve you been?”

I smiled, pushing all thoughts of Travis away, “Somewhere.” I set Lincent down, watching him climb up his high chair. I slowly looked up at Kelly and Dad whose eyes were now following my every move.

I couldn’t speak, couldn’t find my tongue. I watched Kelly stand up, her eyes a bit watery as she approached me, her tiny hands fiddled with her fingers. She stopped short a mere inches in front of me. Kelly was tall, even taller than me. I just couldn’t believe that when she left she was just my little sister, and now she’s all grown up.

She pursed her lips, looking up at me with Dad’s eyes, “Hi.”

I could feel Mom and Dad’s eyes on me, their gazes heavy on both my sister and I, “Kells.”

She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to suppress her tears but failed. She folded her arms around me, flinging her entire weight and transferring it to me, “Oh, god.”

Reaching out, I patted her back. Her shoulders shook as she cried, but I could no longer cry. I dried my eyes out, “I missed you, too.”

Kelly let go of me, wiping her eyes and giving me a crooked smile, “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

I let out a nervous laugh, “Yeah.”

I heard Mom let out a sigh of relief, “Come, now. Let’s eat dinner, I cooked your favourite, Allyson.”

Sitting down, I looked up at Mom who was placing the bowls down. She pecked Dad on the lips before sitting down next to him, nudging his arm. Dad cleared his throat, “Allyson.”

“Dad,” I said through clenched teeth, taking a sip of water, my throat feeling all dry.

He shifted in his seat as he placed down food onto his plate, “I—uh—I’m sorry.”

I immediately shook my head, “It’s nothing, Dad.”

“It is—I—,” he stated, but I interrupted him with raising my hand and shaking my head with a small smile, “Dad. Forget it. What matters is that all of us are fine again.”

Dad nodded, giving me a smile which was badly needed. I looked around at our family and all their smiling faces, and for once, it made me think that every problem did have a solution.

After dinner, I waved good bye today and dismissed myself to bed, making an excuse of how tired I am after driving for two hours.

I immediately ran up the stairs, locking my door and collapsing on the bed. The flashbacks of that night replayed in my head, making me messed up heap of tears on my unmade bed.