Afraid to Say

Confessions of a Heartbreaker

This is the last thing

I will write

While in love with you

You were amazing and I loved

Every single thing you ever did

Or even said to me

The way you caressed the back

Of my hand with your thumb

When our fingers were intertwined

The way you smiled

When I did something silly

Or we watched a funny video

When I would get ahold of a pen

And connect your freckles

And you'd come up with something to call it

Abstract art

You'd say

We had an abstract love

I remember once on our Skype call

You told me you liked

The way I wore jeans

I told you

That I liked them on you too

Because you rarely ever wore them

I remember telling you

That you should always wear glasses

You wanted contacts so badly

Because I loved the way

It made your blue eyes

So big and inquisitive

I loved the way

You'd randomly took my hands

And we'd dance on the sidewalk

I remember the lovely days of summer

When we'd go swimming

And walk for hours

I remember the sparkling nights of summer

When we'd make a bonfire

And just sit under the stars

I remember when school started back

You promised we'd make it

Even though you were leaving me for the year

I thought so too

But wonderful things

Must end as well

And I was sad

That it was us

Before the school year

I remember on Halloween

We gave out candy

To little monsters and princesses

At your little church

The same one

Where I accepted my savior

You were there for me

When my grandfather died

You held me every time I cried

You were my very safe place

For the longest time

And I'm very sorry for what I put us through

And I loved you

From day one

Up until a few minutes ago

I was so Afraid to Say these things

I was hoping maybe you'd see

And realize I missed you too

But I realized I'm tired of this

I'm letting go

I'm done with this feeling

I'm moving to the next chapter

I'm done with rereading

I've got to finish my book