Beautifully Broken

Epilouge

Chase Morgenstern,

I remember you,
I remember I compared you to a lion.
Now I'll compare you to a liar,
a fucking good one too.
I remember you saved me more times than I can count
I wonder if you just did that because you had to?
You made me feel like there was fire inside me, made me feel like I wasn't completely hollowed out.
You gave my heart hope that not everyone I'll meet in life will screw me over.
But I couldn't have been more wrong.
You're the guy every girl wants...
Handsome, intelligent, strong and you always find the right words to say.
You make the river sway, Chase.
You make my heart thud and cause my skin to jump.
You got me addicted to your touch and each night I found myself craving more pieces of you.
I was so desperate for a friend - for you - that I let you blind me.
I was a fire begging to be blown away.
You were the breeze that ignited me, but could easily destroy me.
Why me, Chase?
Why must you rip my skin to shreds and try and kiss it back together?
Why must you hold my heart in your hand and show it like a trophy?
Was I just a trophy to you?
Another one of your accomplished goals?
I don't think you realized how broken you left me.
You crumpled my emotions all up and twisted them in the most vile way possible.
I felt like you watched me drown, clawing at the untamable water.
You watched me drown and that's it.
You didn't even try and throw me a life line, you didn't even speak.
You're a good liar, Chase Morgenstern.
I've been hit, thrown and even ripped apart at times...
The scars on my body don't even compare to the hole in my heart from you.
A broken heart doesn't heal like a scratch.
A broken heart leaves you hollowed and the only emotion you feel is distrust, uncomfort, vulnerability...
Was I vulnerable to you, Chase?
Was I an easy target for you to mess with because I told you my truth?
I opened my deepest parts of my skin to you and I let you see me.
I let you see my scars and all you did was add to them.
I'm sorry Chase,
I'm sorry for trusting you,
I'm sorry for letting you see me.
You never even told me you loved me.

I stare at my shaking hands as my tears coat the edges of the white paper. I stare until I find my hands crumbling the paper and tossing it aside.

You never even told me you loved me, Chase