Overthinker: Spoken word

My Brain

I can't even count the amount of times I've imagined you dead.

Or naked and sweaty with me in my bed cause in my head I jump back and forth from love to death if you heard the things that went on you'd think I did meth.

People have called me crazy I just say sometimes I think so fast my brain can't keep up I even wrote this in a rush because as soon as an idea comes it's gone again and I don't even have time to make sense of it. This poem was riddled with spelling errors because my hands were moving too fast to do anything correctly.

My brain is like a machine gun always firing bullets into my brain and I don't even know who's firing it's so tiring to have of this and not be able to keep it.

Some people call me bipolar or psychotic cause we're all so quick to label things because it easier. I miss when people were just who they were or at the very most "That weirdo" cause that weirdo sounds a hell of a lot better than onset schizophrenia, but we have o be so medical about everything. What happened to the humanity? We're all so busy keeping up with our computers that we forgot real life see when I write things I can maybe fit a point in there but every other time my brain is going so fast I wouldn't even have known I thought that.

Then I see you. Everything slows down for the first time and I can breathe again, feel again. You're the neo of my brain making all the bullets stop for a moment. You call me crazy too, and sometimes that speeds the bullets up again like.

Does she hate me?

Is she going to run away?

Oh my god Kyle you've scared off another one good job.

Anxiety takes hold of me and tells me I failed. Fear tells me I'm not going to find another one like you. Depressions tells me bullet can come to my brain form the outside too. Breathing gets faster and faster until I look at you.

Calm

You say again I'm crazy, but you love me anyway. I don't know if you know that that's how it feels to me. Every time we speak its real to me. I hope stopping the bullets on a daily basis isn't a burden for you. Cause with you I feel like I can stay forever, but without you the bullets fly and that's why I talk to you so much I know you think I'm needy and that's because I am. I need the peace that you bring me. The heaven in you touch so powerful they make my brain stop for the first time. And I'm a big guy but your words alone make me fly when all I want to do is jump and fall.

I can't remember where I was going with this and honestly I don't know how to end it either and I might keep rambling on so ill just be quick about it.

Thank you

So long