Where I Belong

Let Me Be Your Hero

I DO NOT OWN AO NO EXORCIST

Sorry for not being able to post yesterday. I was quite busy and hadn't found the time to type and post. So, I hope you'll forgive me!!

And this filler-type chapter will be about our dear Yukio and his emotional and mental mess.

QUESTION: Will you be able to understand his thoughts and feelings? Read and find out his side of the story.. Well.. partly..

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Bird chirps.

He woke up to the sound of the birds outside the window. The usual battering of rain for the past few days were absent as were the howling winds. He glanced at the window and he saw the light of the morning sun filtering through the curtains. It had been raining cats and dogs since that day. As if the weather was protesting with what happened. He sighed and looked at the clock.

It was half an hour after seven in the morning.

He put on his glasses and everything became sharp and clears like the white walls of the dormitory where a few webs of spiders litter. He sat up and put on his slippers before taking his bathing utensils and going to the shared baths of the boy's dorm. After bathing, he put on his normal clothes of sweat pants, shirt and sneakers before heading to the dining hall to eat.

In the halls, he some academy students walking sluggishly, chattering with their friends and doing things they normally do in a sunny Sunday morning. He sighed at the normalcy of things. It is all becoming so repetitive now that it kind of put a damper to his mood. Even at True Cross Order, after the magical restoration of Mephisto of everything that was destroyed, summons was low. There was not much demon disturbance aside from the appearance of Satan's blue flames and other unnamed flames during...

Truthfully, that incident, Rin's execution was not something Yukio wants to talk about. He doesn't know how to feel about it. After all, Rin was still his older twin broher. Rin, before being aware of his heritage, was the perfect brother one could ask for. He was Yukio's defendant, his own protection, his strength, his pride, his happiness, his world and his everything.

He was the very reason Yukio strived to be a great and strong Exorcist. He wanted to be the one to help Rin for once. When he was still young and training to be an Exorcist, he would get bruises and scrapes and he would get so tired that he just wanted to quit but the wide beaming grin of his twin would keep him from walking away. Rin's unparalleled innocence and naivety kept him going.

Like Yukio was happy every time he sees Rin's back shielding him from harm, he wanted Rin too to feel that same happiness whenever Yukio defends him from his own demons. When he was young, Rin was his world. And it never changed until that happened.

Yukio never wanted and wished for a lot of things but he wished Rin never found out about demons and Satan. He wanted to turn back time to prevent him from ever finding out. He wanted to keep Rin in the dark to protect his childish innocence of the real world. In that way, Yukio can still be Rin's hero even in secrecy. But it seems fate wanted something different and spilled the truth to Rin. And Yukio never felt rage took over him that moment he learned that Rin, his sweet and naïve Rin, woke his blue flames and learned about the half of his, their, origin. He was sad that Father Fujimoto, their foster Father, died. He understands that Rin was probably an emotional mess that time and was undergoing a mental turmoil that made him say those things. He knows Rin better than anyone else and he knows Rin didn't mean those. A part of him was guilty that he was glad that Shiro killed himself so Satan won't be able to take Rin with him to Gehenna.

What he was furious about was that he wasn't there. He wasn't able to protect Rin like he promised he would. Rin became his own hero and he can't accept it in his heart. Yukio was supposed to be Rin's savior. But he wasn't.

He tried to come to terms with it. He really did. But his pride just seems to be against that idea and the altercation he had with Rin inside the classroom was proof that he isn't yet worthy of being his brother's protector. Once again, Rin stood up for him; in that case, against his own darkness and shadows. Rin was once again the light.

Rin is still his everything after all that has happened.

He built himself up. He made himself stronger while teaching Rin and helping him become stronger to defeat Satan. He strengthened his mental and emotional fortress so that the next time it happens again, Rin will be able to sit back and relax that Yukio will take care of everything.

Except, the next time it happened, he wasn't able to do anything.

He let Rin face death when he battled with Amaimon, a Demon King. His weakness let everything he was gearing up for fall down to failure. His brother wouldn't have been alive and free if it wasn't for Mephisto, their half­-brother. Since then, he just wasn't able to look at Rin anymore because it hurts.

He was proven a failure as his brother's shield. No matter what he does, Rin just proves to be stronger. He just always proves to be a star Yukio will never be able to touch. Rin was his own hero and Yukio's reason to fight just proved useless.

He was lost.

He is lost.

And he'll probably never be able to find his path again as long as Rin, his sweet and naïve and innocent Rin, is gone with the thought that Yukio hates him when in reality, Yukio hates himself for letting everything happen without giving a helping hand.

Yukio loathes himself for leaving Rin.

And he will never be able to redeem himself because Rin..

Rin is gone...

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So, were you able to understand Yukio? Or still just as confused as he? Please tell me your thoughts. :)

Next chapter will be posted after at least 15 votes!