Various x reader ||One-shots||

Incapable || Natsume Takashi

Yo, don't mind me, just here to vent~

"I'm incapable of love, so I really can't accept your friend's confession, Takashi," you said, staring into the distance beside the boy with the sandy hair.

Natsume sent you an apologetic look, replying a "I'm sorry for troubling you with that, I just don't know what to do."

"He won't stop bothering me until I tell you, that Nishimura." His eyes trailed to the object of your attention, before stealing a glance at your stoic form.

He appeared like he wanted to ask something. "What is it?" You raised a brow at him.

"Uh, no, I just..." Natsume trailed off, a bashful look gracing his features so casually. "Well..."

He sighed. ".... Why do you say you're incapable of love?"

'I honestly want to know. Maybe, just maybe...'

The both if you could understand each other more clearly, and Natsume really just wanted to get to know you better.

"Oh, that?" You replied nonchalantly, as if this is the question you ask yourself everyday. "... I don't.."

"I don't think I can love Nishimura-kun properly if I ever get into a relationship with him." You stated truthfully, your words laced with some form if grief Natsume couldn't comprehend.

Still, this caused his brows to wrinkle in question. "What.. do you mean?"

"I mean," you paused, lost for words. "It's like-" again, you found your thoughts fumbling, this isn't like you at all. "-ugh."

Natsume wasn't that inconsiderate to ignore the discomfort showing through the cold sweat that soon adorned your troubled expression.

"Ah, it's okay if you can't explain it, (Name)-san. I'm just..."

"... No."

The concerned boy frowned. "Sorry, Takashi, for making you worry about me like that."

How did you know? "W-well, if you get it, then that's enough-"

"-there's just something wrong with me." The way you smiled under the ghost of your breath somehow pained the blonde.

Nevertheless, you were finally opening up to him. Natsume scooted closer, and listened.

"I have low self-esteem. No matter who he or she is, no matter who they, being comforted by others always ends up backfiring, in my case."

You breathed in. "Don't worry, Takashi, you're not being a bother, but what I'm saying is, the thought that someone out there is head over heels with me is ridiculous."

"I can't imagine it. How can someone be attracted to me? I'm..."

As if expelling the emotions you felt well up so suddenly, you let out a shaky sigh.

Then, you bowed, hiding your face away from the genteel boy. He's sure to feel bad if he ever saw your lips quiver.

You composed yourself, before saying,
"... I just hate myself, Takashi, what am I supposed to do?"

Said boy narrowed his eyes painstakingly.

"The saying that a person with self-hatred don't need to love themselves before loving someone else, although it's just me against the world, it's complete bullshit. Lies."

At this point, you felt your fingers tremble. At this point, you didn't bother stoning your expression, instead you used gestures to calm yourself, to lead yourself to believe that everything is fine.