The Walmart Shoot Up - (Sequel To 'Follow You')

Chapter 18 - Memory In Ashes

Kellin's POV

One Week Later - Tuesday

Later that night, when I couldn't sleep, I reached onto the floor and picked my hoodie up off the ground. I dug the old piece of paper out of the pocket. Her letter - I hadn't opened it ever since I threw it into my wardrobe, even though I always thought about it.

I took a deep breath and opened it. There it was, her neat handwriting, all over the page. The ink was faded but still easy to decipher.

The plain facts washed over me. She had written this, intended it for me. She too had touched this paper. But, she also left me. I let my eyes rake over those hurtful words again. I knew she didn't mean to hurt me, but she did.

I really wanted to see her again. 

Reading over the letter had brought back that craving for her company that had been residing in the back of my mind, just waiting to jump to the front and cut through my line of thoughts. 

I flipped the piece of paper over and took out a pen. I thought about what letter I would send to her if I knew where she was. 

For the next half hour, in the middle of the night, I spent my time writing a letter to someone who would never see it. 

Dear Jinx

Do you miss me? I miss you. It's kind of stupid to write back to you I guess. Since you wanted to 'part ways' and all. But I have so much to tell you. 

My band is going so well. I think you would like our music; which is good since a lot of the lyrics are about you. Justin and Jack are in the band. We became friends again, because I was a grumpy, sad, depressing little bitch when you left. I still am on the inside. 

I never stop thinking about you. That's why I'm writing this ridiculous letter right now. But what harm could it do? I don't even know where you are. I hope your still alive. I hope your doing well. Maybe I'll see you again soon. If you still have that beautiful neon hair, it should be no problem spotting you out. 

From Kellin

After that, I folded the letter again, and put it down on my bedside table. I would have put it in my drawers but I didn't want to wake Gabe, who was sleeping in the bunk above me. We had to share rooms because there was only two in our apartment. 

I rolled over on my side and pulled the blankets up over me again. I closed my eyes and tried to get to sleep, but Jinx was branded into my eyelids. It was a blurry image of her, as she had started to leave my memory. I tried to recall the color of her eyes but I couldn't remember. 

That made me upset, because I had wanted to remember her forever. 

All those hours watching movies when I was really only watching her, trying to memorize her, had gone to waste. I couldn't even remember her eye color...

What would come next? Would I start forgetting her altogether?

Goodnight, Kellin... 

Well, at least I had remembered her voice. 

__________

Upon waking, there was a fistful of chips dropped on my face. I brushed them off and slowly opened my eyes. It was Nick and Jack, standing there, staring down at me. 

"Finally. Dude you slept in heaps." Jack said. "Didn't get much sleep? Why?"

The words left my lips quickly. "Writing."