Jewel I (In the beginning)

Chapter 4

         I walked inside the house and to my surprise, my mom was sitting on the couch watching South Beach Towing, laughing up a storm. I stood there for a couple seconds trying to figure out whether I should start a conversation or say hey and go straight to my room. I didn't usually see her at home and I stopped talking to get a long time ago when she started smoking crack. I see her when I walk to the store but I just avoid her.

        "Hey ma" I said dryly

        "Hello honey. Long time no speak." She explained. "come sit and talk to your mother."

        "Sorry ma, I don't have time"

        "You never have time for your mother anymore. You have to understand sweet cakes, I'm trying to get clean. I'm trying to be a great mother." She cried.

        I started to burst into tears because she does this every two months. She always tells me that she is gonna get clean or that she is trying to get clean. I want her to get clean but she never goes threw with it. I was getting so angry with her. All I ever wanted was a strong healthy mother and that was something that I knew that I wasn't getting soon.

        "You say that but you never do" I yelled.

        She jumped up and started holding me and we cried together.

        "Baby you have to help me. You have to help your mother get clean. I need you to be here with me every step of the way to make this work." She tried to explain it to me but, her words didn't mean anything.

        I tried to believe her but something told me that she was lying. She probably needed my help with money. She probably was telling me that she needed my help to pay for rehab but would use the money to buy crack.

        I remember one time when she tried to sell me for crack. I didn't wanna be with that crazy man. I kicked him in his manhood and ran for my life. That caused her to get beaten by the man over and over again. I didn't want her to get hurt but I guess it was what came with me not staying with him. She was just happy that she got her crack. I hated her for that.

        The more we cried in each others arms, the more I started to feel bad for her. I didn't want to help her for her to betray me but I wanted to help her get clean. "Ok, ma" I cried. "It's ok. We can get through this. You just have to be sure that your ready and that you really want to go through with it. Are you sure?" I cried patting her on her back.

        She held her head up and looked me in my eyes. "I'm sure." She lied.

***

        After allowing my mother to wash up, I went into my mothers room to find her something to wear. When I went in there, it was dark with some colorful Christmas lights around the dressor mirror. There were clothes and trash everywhere. It smelled like a trash dump in there. I didnt even want to search for moms clothes. I turned around to get up out of there as quickly as possible but I ran right into James.

        His beer spilled all over my shirt. He stood there with this mean look on his face. His eyes were big and his eyebrows were crossed. He had on a white wife beater with holes in it that looked like he had just been beat up. He had on some big baggy pants. They were all dirty and he smelled like he had got finished working on a car.

        He worked on cars for living but he didn't do it that often. But some how he always had the money to pay the bills but he didn't put bacon on the table.

          He pushed me to the floor and started yelling in my face. His spit was flying everywhere. "Why you in here? You know where your room at!" He yelled.

        I didn't say anything I just started to crawl between his legs to get out of the room but he was blocking the whole doorway.

        "You don't pay no damn bills! You aint going no where until I say so!"

        He was scaring me. At this point, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't get through. He started kicking me and trying to grab me. I started swinging my fist toward his face with all my might. He was slapping me and trying to get ahold of my arms that swung like a loose swing. I noticed that his legs were open as he stood over me and I had the perfect chance to kick him in his growing. I took my chances and threw my foot up. BANG! I hit him right on the numbers. He screamed in pain and started falling slowly. I rapidly crab walked under him while he was falling. As soon as he hit the floor, I had gotten up. I grabbed a shoe that was beside the door and started beating him in his head with it. My mom came running in there and was trying yo get the shoe from me.

        I couldn't believe that she was trying to help him. I was finish crying for the day and I knew that I was a strong girl. And being a wussy was not in my vocabulary.  I was taken aback by my mothers display of action. She should be on my side. I thought that since this happened, mom wouldn't want to go to the rehab place anymore. I knew that I would have to pay for this incident later but I was ready to fight.

        I ran in my room and locked the door behind me. I laid across my bed listening to my mom and James argue. She was trying to help him and now she was arguing with him. It's crazy how their relationship works.

        It was going on five o'clock and I didn't have anything to do until eight. I wasn't even sure if I was in the mood to party with Mane anymore. After fighting James I was tired. I'm now listening to him and mom fight. All I could think in my head is how I wish I wasn't here.

        I was startled by the ringing of my phone, interrupting me in my train of thought. It was my manager, Christy.

        "Hello" I answered.

        "Hey Jewel, I was wondering if you could come in for work right now for Ravin's shift. She called in sick and I need you to work for her till eight o'clock"

        I sat there for a minute thinking about whether I should go in or not. The phone grew silent.

        "if you can't, it's alright we can get someone else."

        "no it's fine. I can do it."

        "ok good, be here in thirty minutes" said Christy, just before ending the call

        I didn't wanna go in for work but I had nothing else to do and plus I need the money. Maybe Mane can pick me up from work.

      I picked my phone back up to text Mane.

        Hey, I have to work. Can you pick me up at eight if that's not a problem.

        I sat there for a couple minutes waiting on her text back. Then it finally came.

        Ok girl. Wendy's right? On eighth street? Gotcha boo.

        After that, I started getting ready for work. I packed my backpack of things that I need to get ready for the party. I was determined to get my money and then have a nice time.