BTS AMBW - BLUE YOONGI

I Dont Wanna Go

6 months later

"So Ciara have you thought about college?" Jimins mom asks me.

"Um..I don't really know what I want to do," I say feeling stressed since we were going to start senior year in a little bit.

"Hm I see. Jimin you want to be a dentist, right?" she asks and he rolls his eyes.

"My mom wants me to be some sort of doctor," he says picking at the food on his plate.

"Well what else would you be?" she asks.

"A writer," he mumbles under his breath. I really liked his mom, she was way better than mine. I had to legally change my address to Jimins home since my mom got thrown out of the apartment. I guess she is somewhere on the street now. When I think of her I also think of Yoongi. I didn't want to give up on her but she gave up on herself. I haven't seen Yoongi in forever it seems. I went up and laid to bed and saw the moon peaking through my window. I would always get flashbacks to that night right before I slept. It was the last night I saw him. I could visit him in the mental hospital but I knew I shouldn't. He was trying to get better and I didn't want to make him worse. No matter how bad my heart ached. I wanted to see him, touch him, kiss him again. But these were selfish thoughts. His health is more important. I don't want him to ever try committing suicide again. When I found out he got into a wreck I started blaming myself for everything. The fact that he survived and now is getting help shows me that there still is hope and I can't stand in the way of it. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep. School was going to start soon so I had to get as much sleep while I could. The next day Jimin's mom offered to take me shopping and even though I refused she insisted on taking me. She got me a new dress and I kept saying thank you a thousand times. I hated when people did nice things for me because I felt in debt to them. She was already allowing me to live with her and I felt like a burden even if she didn't make it seem that way. I guess I'm just not used to nice things being done for me yet.

"Are you hungry?" she asks.

"Um no," I lie because I don't want her to pay for anything.

"Oh come on," she says not believing me, "Well I'm starving and you're gonna eat with me," she says paying for the clothes.

"Um okay," I say smiling.

"Do you like korean bar- oh right you don't eat meat," she says.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"Why apologize?" she asks starting to walk out.

"Um I guess it might be difficult to eat with me," I say walking beside her out to the parking lot.

"No you're fine sweet heart," she says shaking her head.

"You and Jimin are both so nice, it's crazy," I say getting in her car.

"Well," she says putting her shades on. She looked so cool, "When you go through a lot of things in life you realize you should be nice to everyone," I think back to the story Jimin told me and I wonder if it's appropriate for me to bring it up. I mean, I haven't been able to really talk to anyone about the Yoongi situation. Kaylee listened but she just told me I had to move on. Jimin doesn't like the mention of his name. I just kept my thoughts to myself about the whole situation.

"Where...if you don't mind me asking. Where is Jimins step dad?" I ask.

"What?" she says sharply and even through her big sunglasses I could see the confused look on her face as she was driving.

"Never mind we don't have to talk-"

"I know I look good for my age," she starts laughing and I do too not knowing where she was going with this, "But I haven't remarried. I don't even think I want to," she says causally.