Falling - A Short Story

7

Brooke Havens

Dear Justin,

He tried to talk to me in class today again. I ignored him. Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me because I simply can't understand why I keep doing that and I know It's not because he stood me up. I'm not angry about that. I think I'm scared. Not scared of him of course but scared because of him. Because I miss him. I miss him and I don't even know him that well. It's fucking weird this connection we had so quickly. I've never had that with anyone. 

Maybe I'm not even scared about that either, maybe I'm scared of feeling something I've never felt before and I'm afraid of what might happen after. No! I'm not in love and that's for sure but only this urge of mine to see him is very new to me. I'm confused Justin. I'm never like this. Usually I just don't give a fuck and move on but I don't know what's keeping me from moving on this time.

What should I do? Should I call him now? Should I talk to him at school or should I just keep things as they are and protect me from hurting myself?

This is all just wrong, don't you think? I do.

Well, besides that everything has been the same. Mom's got a new boyfriend and he seems nice. Nicer then the last one, I suppose.

Julia has been as annoying as always but I guess that's no news. You should see her Justin, she's so pretty, she get's prettier everyday and you have to see what an amazing actress she's becoming! I'm so proud. You would be so proud.

Well, hope you're doing fine over there ;) See you soon bro.

Love you,

Brooke.

I rested my pen on the desk an looked at the letter before putting it inside the envelope. I turned off my lamp and took a few steps to my bed laying there and covering myself. I instantly felt asleep.

~~

"Hey Brooke! I looove your shirt." Somebody said to me as I walked to my classe. I looked up and away from my phone to find the voice's owner.

It was some girl I didn't know.

I flashed her a smile and turned my attention back to my phone.

I leaned next to the door and waited patiently for the next bell to ring.

For some reason I felt like someone was leaning next to me. I tried to ignore it but it was bugging me. I lifted my head a little to check if I was right. Turns out I was.

"Are you going to ignore me again?" He asked looking at me. 

I was actually a little happy that he hadn't give up on me yet.

I kept myself silent though. I glanced at him. If you could see inside my head in this moment, I'm pretty sure you would find little guys in my brain searching for files with words that I could use right now. I needed to say something but I had no idea of what.

So, i guess he thought I was ignoring him again and took a step away from me to start walking out. I just couldn't let that happen.

"I won't. Just meet me at the library during lunch, okay?" I called him out. He grinned and nodded. 

"Ms. Havens? Is there any reason you're still out side the classroom? The bell just rang and everyone is in." Mr. Rensink said snapping his fingers to get my attention.

"Sorry Mr. Rensink. I'll go in." I told him picking my things from the floor and walking in the quiet room.

"Alright class! I need you guys to pair up for a project." As he said that, people started to cheer in a low tone and hi-five. "But!" He trailed off raising his finger. "I'll choose the groups" He said.