The daily and nightly of Marceline Abadeer (Bubbline/ Sugarless Gum)

8. (smut) I can do this

(Warning: smut)

Marceline's pov

I could feel myself slipping under... I can't lose it now. I never know how my mental breakdowns work or when they will come and go. But sex is surely a trigger.

Suddenly I felt the suffocating pressure lift as Bonnibel stopped her advance on me. I could connect to reality again, my senses coming back. I realize I am topless and Bonnie's hand is on my vagina. I've been sobbing hard silently into her pillow, my hands clutching my hair.

I squinted to find a worried Bonnie looking at me. I can tell she did not expect to find me in this state. Her hands gently cupped my face, wiping my tears off with her thumbs. But they just keep coming. She wanted to say something but I could tell she really didn't know what to do with me.

People never do.

I shouted at myself internally to stop being so vulnerable. I do what I do best. I lash out and act angry.

'So you really don't care how i feel... right Bonnie?' I hate the way my voice cracks, giving me away.

'No Marcy! I just... i didn't know how to make it up to you. You used to like this so much but then I stopped giving it to you...' Her eyes are searching with concern. She can always tell when I'm faking it, hiding something.

And she faltered as she took in my breasts.

'What are those scars on your chest, Marcy!' She looked like she's been stabbed with a knife. Her hands started to caress them like they were fresh wounds.

I didn't want to answer that question. I can't bring myself to talk about it yet. The thing she's wanting from me now, it's my trigger. And the thing she wants to talk about now will also break me down.

Yet this is the girl I love. She may have misunderstood me, but I was too good a manipulator for her, my pure innocent girl with her straight forward big brain, to figure out. I know how to get under her skin and make her bare herself to me. To show that she cared.

I know exactly why she wants this so badly now. Sex has always equated disarming and undying love to her. To her, this is her reconciliation with me. I can't turn down that.

I just need to lose my head and go with the feels. I could do that. In some way.

I climbed atop her and said, 'I top.'