More Than Enough ⚀ [COMPLETED]

Chapter 16 Dear Brad

Alisha's p.o.v.***
A few weeks went by and I had been dealing with both Anthony and Brad. Every since the day after the event, Brad had been distant alot lately and I didn't know why. Anthony, on the other hand, had been to clingy. If it had nothing to do with work I was avoiding him. I had decided to give Anthony a chance for us to see where things would go. I just wasn't interested in him in that way. The sex was good, but we didn't have that chemistry. As a matter of fact, the good sex and the fact that we had been friends for over ten years were the only two things that kept us going as far as tryna "make it work."

Brad was way more interesting. He had his flaws as well, but being in his company kept me interested. We had a few things in common like; our past with our parents, the one night stands, not opening up to people, not being able to commit, looking for love or at least trying to look for it. I felt as though we could help each other climb our way out of the pits we were in. It always seemed to help when there was someone there who had the same experience you had. I guess that's why all these things seemed much easier to accomplish when we were together. 

He shared alot of stuff with me about his past. He never mentioned his mom to me though. I wondered why. There were a few things he shared about his father, whom he obviously stayed with until he ran to his grandmother. The things he told me about life with his grandmother seemed to be his best years except for how he used women for sex.

I can't lie I was missing Brad. I really had gotten used to him being around. I enjoyed the time we spent together. The feelings I felt towards him was all new to me. I had shut the feeling of loving a man out for so long that it became over whelming the first time I felt love for Brad. Sitting at my desk staring out the window I decided to send him a text trying to explain how I felt. I was going to tell him about my daddy too since that is where all this stuff started. I hadn't told him about it yet. All he knew was that I had night mares about my childhood. He only knew that because he started asking questions about why I would jump up out of my sleep in sweats the way I did. I really didn't want to lie to him neither did I want him to know the truth at the time so I told him I had night mares about my childhood.

"Hi stranger, I have noticed your lack of communication lately. I don't know or understand why you have been so distant, but honestly your presence has been missed. If there is something that I have done I would appreciate if you would bring it to my attention please.

This is not easy for me, but I wanted to tell you how I have grown feelings for you. Things in my life in the past have not been all peaches and cream, but I'm striving for better. I have the perfect career and the perfect success, yet I'm lacking a family of my own to share all of that with. I want a family. I want to be a wife. I want to have babies. I want to experience love. I'm saying all of that to say every since you came into my life my world has been turned upside right.

Everything has been so perfect, maybe even to perfect. From the trips, to the quality time, to the arguments, to the laughs. It has all been so perfect. I wouldn't have rather experienced this with anyone else. I have grown to more than just like you.
Having feelings for a man is something that is hard for me to deal with. When I was a little girl I watched as my dad and step dad basically drug my mom through the mud. She did everything for those men and they trampled over. They had no respect for her. My dad cheated on her, beat her until she was unconcious, took all her money, used her for sex, and made her work two and three jobs. My step dad came along and he ended up treating her the same way after he got on drugs really bad. The only thing he didn't do was beat her. Seeing this as a young girl I made a promise to myself never to allow those things to happen to me. I promised myself to treat men like my daddy treated my mother who was a good woman and didn't deserve any of those things. I made a commitment to myself never to be like my mother taking anything like that from a man.